Where Sometimes Things Go Bang

Skyrim-blogging

2012-01-25T08:10:00.002-06:00

I really oughta call this "...Vol. I." I'mma be posting a lot about this game.

I got my ass kicked last night.

No, not my character in the game. He's a totally badass Nord named Morpheus. He's as strong as a bull, and is as well-rounded as they come. He can fight like mad, sneak and pick locks, cast spells and make potions. He can smith weapons and armor, and his ability to enchant is second only to my ability to name the items he enchants (I'm currently wielding a frost-enchanted club called the Hypothermic Headache-Maker). He slew three - three - dragons yesterday, including a Blood Dragon. He is, in every sense of the word, a badass.

I, on the other hand, got sucked in all the way to midnight, when I started promising myself I would stop as soon as I got to a good stopping point.

I was finally in bed a little before 1:30 a.m. I'm a little sluggish this morning. Coffee, anyone?

tweaker

Out of town

2012-01-21T09:43:00.003-06:00

Greetings from beautiful San Diego, California! I haven't flaked out on the blog again; I'm on the road. Got a broadcast from within view of the Pacific. It's not quite like the view last time, where I was closer to Mirimar and got to combine the serene blue waters with the occasional buzz-by of F/A-18s. Still, I'm not complaining.

So, I'll be wrapped up by this afternoon, and I'll share some pics and stuff. Stay tuned!

tweaker

Buying stuff makes me happy

2012-01-19T20:35:00.002-06:00

I'm usually a pretty happy guy. I joke about everything, and I deflect with humor, too, so even when I'm not happy I appear happy. I don't generally burden others with my not-happy time.

(Except you guys. You put up with all my pissy little shit, and you don't get mad at me when I say "fuck." What's not to love? Come here; give us a hug, eh?)

Anyhoo, I'm a little freaked out. The short version of the story is that my back is fucked up real bad, and I'm a candidate for spinal surgery. I have a surgical consult next Thursday, and I get to have a provocative discography (or, as I like to think of it, a Living Fucking Nightmare wherein I get injected with something specifically to cause me pain). Needless to say, I've got a lot on my mind.

So, on the way home I noticed that a former Aaron's had been emptied and replaced with a new place called Top Brass Military and Tactical. My curiosity got the better of me. I expected to walk in and see a bunch of full-blown gunshop commando types. Not so.

The place was nice. It didn't have that hole-in-the-wall milsurp store feel to it. The staff was dressed from head to toe in 5.11 apparel, which I pardoned since that brand takes up probably 40% of the floor space in that (surprisingly big-ass) store. Folks were clean-cut and very polite.

I walked around and looked at everything. It was more-or-less like Cheaper Than Dirt opened up the roof and puked in the middle of the store. Everything from AR/AK accessories (even PMAGs! Both with and without windows! And a shite-tonne of 'em!) to MOLLE everything to, what's that? Looks an awful lot like a neatly stacked ~15'x15' pile of ammo cans... Score. Each and every one of them was in Grade I condition. Maybe a couple of dings and a touch of rust on the hinges, but as far as I can tell they all had brand-new seals in them. I bought two .50 cans for $15 each. I'll go back for a few of the $10 .30 cans.

"Hey, Tweaker," you are surely asking, "Why not go ahead and get some .30 cans now?" A fine question, you smart whipper-snappers. I had spent enough money between the ammo cans and my shiny new Streamlight ProTac 2AA that I bought to replace a 2AA Mini-Maglite. Now that was money well spent! It's just a touch smaller than the Mag, and will drop into my Nite Ize Pock-Its XL pointing down (the Mag had to point up). A 120-lumen ray of sunlight screams out at a touch of the button on the back - no more twisty for me! - and, buddy, we're gonna do some seeing!

So there. I spent some money. Got something I needed, and something I wanted. In a pretty cool store. I can haz happy time? Yeth. Yeth I can.

tweaker

We don't need no steeenking Due Process!

2012-01-18T08:00:00.005-06:00

***WARNING*** I'm about to say "fuck." A lot. But first? Something totally cool that I made, all by myself! I created it from scratch with my mad art skrillz and stuff.

Anyone recognize that? That's not my handiwork. That would be the work of The Oatmeal. He makes funny things on the internet, and I check his site every day for new content, because it's cool. It is not, however, so cool that I'd willingly grant him the power to fuxxxorz my blog or any website with the full weight of the law behind him, and without any due process whatsoever.

(Just so's we are crystal clear: I didn't make that image. The Oatmeal did. I was lying about making it. He would get it, and probably laugh and buy me beer. Cuz he's cool.)

So, without further ado, here's all that foul language I promised!

Fuck SOPA.

Fuck PIPA.

Fuck each and every sitting member of the Senate that even remotely considered this bill.

Fuck each and every sitting member of the House of Representatives that even remotely considered this bill.

Fuck Barack Obama for not guaranteeing a veto from the very beginning.

Fuck the system that would allow that law to run full force while someone with a soul had to go up the chain from court to court before making it to SCOTUS who is just as likely as not to say SOPA/PIPA is A-O-K and what exactly is a constitution again?

Ladies and gentlemen, your government does not work for you. They do not have your best interests in mind. They do not care about you. So send 'em some mail. Send 'em emails. Let 'em know this is bullshit, and you're havin none of it.

Fuck 'em all.

tweaker

Trying Hard To Lose

2012-01-17T12:43:00.002-06:00

I am trying as hard as I can to avoid the GOP ~~popularity contest~~ debates. There's nothing of any interest for me there save that Ron Paul is becoming more and more clearly the only conservative in a field of guys who swear they are the only real conservative and that everyone else is a moderate (except Ron Paul who is insane in the membrane and Hey, Look How Eeeevil Everyone Else Is!!).

This morning, as I was scanning the news to make sure that the world wasn't ending (damn shame about that boat in Italy. Captain Douchebag to the bridge, please?), I heard Newt "FDR Iz Teh Graytest!!1!" Gingrich telling of his strategy to win the GOP nod. The first of the two steps was to convince everyone he was the only real conservative (there's that again) by showing how he was the only one who could push true conservatism in a debate environment.

Anyone see the big red flags on that? Lemme help. He's the one who can push true conservatism in a debate environment.

Not that I want him to win (or have the ability to communicate at all) or anything, but I've got some advice for the Newt not-so-juggernaut campaign: despite what appears to be awfully convincing evidence from your imagination, conservatives don't want someone who can push conservatism in a debate environment. They want a full-blown conservative who will, first and foremost, drop a big fuckin bag of financial conservatism right in the middle of Washington, D.C. Debate skills are shiny, but screaming how you're the conservative and everyone else is the moderate doesn't echo with the brainy crowd as loud as ZOMGILURVESFDR!!!

tweaker

Never a Good Time

2012-01-13T10:51:00.003-06:00

Well, I had tossed around leaving the blog behind in favor of Facebook, but it seems like a bad idea. See, a certain post over at Jim's place led me to find my blog here linked up in a lot of places that I didn't know about. Good places, all, and good bloggers running 'em. Made me think twice, and I've decided to take this thing a bit more seriously.

So, to all that link me up, thanks. If y'all will let me know who you are, I'll update the blogroll. In the mean time, I'mma clean up the place, wipe the counters, knock down the cobwebs, and see if I can breath a little life back into this thing.

tweaker

Coffee Break

2011-11-21T09:02:00.000-06:00

The internet can take the rest of the day off, because there is no hope of better content anywhere other than this post.

I mean, it's got it all: drama, humor, struggle, sage wisdom, and the crown jewel:

Then you would have to run around wearing a frownie face. You would be sad.

Go ahead, internet. Try to beat that.

tweaker

Appreciation

2011-11-11T08:30:00.002-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen of our Armed Forces, I do not know you. I have met a few of you, and I hold you in the highest regard. I wish that were enough to show you how much I appreciate what you have done for our nation.

From the bottom of my heart: thank you.

Judicial Dumbassery

2011-11-08T12:41:00.003-06:00

My blood boiled when I read about the recent decision from the US Court of Appeals for DC concerning the individual mandate of Obamacare. The same court that upheld Dick Heller's case right before it went to SCOTUS is apparently subject to the same brand of recto-cranial inversion as any other court.

Just try and read this without seeing red:

"It certainly is an encroachment on individual liberty, but it is no more so than a command that restaurants or hotels are obliged to serve all customers regardless of race ... or that a farmer cannot grow enough wheat to support his own family," wrote Judge Laurence Silberman in the majority opinion, citing past federal mandates that inspired legal fights.

See that? In the same breath, Judge Silberman (a Ronald Reagan appointee and senior judge for the Court) in the opinion A) admits that the individual mandate is an encroachment on individual liberty and B) shows us what an epic Fucktard of the First Order he really is by comparing said encroachment to forcing businesses to serve all races and forbidding a farmer to grow enough wheat to support his family.

Read that back to yourselves; I know it's a lot to take in. A federal appeals court judge says that forcing ~~subjects~~ citizens ~~at gunpoint~~ under penalty of law to purchase something is wrong, but no more so than one thing that's a good soundbite and another thing that's a fucking actrocity.

That is the standard by which abrogation of freedom is measured by the US Court of Appeals. It can be all fucked up and still be constitutional(!!!), as long as it's not more fucked up than other things that have happened.

And we have to wait until he dies or retires, because there's no voting federal judges out. Yee-haw.

tweaker

I Must Have ESPN

2011-11-01T18:57:00.003-05:00

I have an uncanny ability to predict the contents of a story before I read it.

Okay, maybe it's not so uncanny. Honestly, how many of you could read this and not see this coming:

According to arrest affidavits filed in the case, Roberts and 73-year-old Frederick Thomas agreed to buy a silencer, a bomb and parts to convert a semi-automatic rifle to a fully automatic machine gun from an undercover agent.

Wow. So yet again, millions are saved by our protectors thwarting a plot that they, at least in part, helped to manufacture. Once again, a person or group of people that may have just hated the fuck out of the government will join the ranks of those whom we'll never know would have actually been able to break any laws without help. From our protectors.

So what are they actually protecting us from? It's almost like we're paying protection money to the...

Naaahh. No way it could be that.

tweaker

Getting My Stalker On

2011-11-01T10:20:00.003-05:00

I was gonna write up a post yesterday from a CNN article about what the GOP needs to do to right the ship. As you can imagine, written exactly for the best possible outcome. For the Democrats.

Anyhoo, as I was perusing the more heavily armed corners of the Blogosphere, I came across yet another gem from Robb Allen, who I've either linked here, on Facebook, or on Google+ so many times he's probably considering a restraining order.*

I'll give you the opener, and then you'll go RTWT:

Ron Paul is not the only man who can save America. Electing Sarah Palin is not going to fix the economy. A second Obama term is not going to provide adequate healthcare for every man woman and child. Putting Ralph Nader in office would provide countless hours of entertainment, but it wouldn’t do squat for the environment. The congressman you think is the most evil thing this side of Satan? He’s not going to do much more than pad his pockets the same way the senator you think is the cat’s meow will.

In short, there is no way to fix our country at the ballot box.

tweaker

*Robb? Paper armor? Ha! Yeah, um... prolly not.

Occupying Stuff

2011-10-26T10:27:00.009-05:00

Okay, you know what? I've had it. I keep hearing, over and over, about how completely fuxxored this country is from a bunch of idiots who made really shitty choices in their lives. There is apparently a very small faction among these groups of roving morons that is actually capable of some rational thinking, though they don't get too far with it.

Allow me to 'splain. Yes, giant soulless corporations are a major problem. That's not too far a stretch, but things get wonky when you decry them for having the audacity to have money at all, let along a metric fuck-ton of it. From there, things quickly spiral out of control, with people posting on your own website for all the world to see things like The Communist Manifesto, v2.0 and ZOMGTEHJOOOZ!!!!1!! Way to marginalize yourselves, geniuses. Top it off with shitting on police cars, a near total lack of sanitation, threats of violence, etc., and you've got yourself staring down the barrel of every can of pepper spray in the local PD. You did this to yourselves.

But, alas, "Protest onward!" you say. You can't allow your nearly-entirely disorganized band of what the world sees as union-funded reprobates to get bogged down in things like appearances! You've got a fucking city to occupy! So you press on under no flag with the only common theme among you being Corporations Are Bad, Mkay? Well, I've got news for you: corporations aren't the problem, and the government ain't the solution.

Let that sink in for a minute. You want to go after the corporations and, subsequently, the uber-rich folks that are a part of them, and take them to the fucking cleaners to rectify the poor distribution of wealth in this country. The only problem is that you can't do it alone, because laws and stuff prevent you from storming Goldman Sachs. So, you call for armed robbery by proxy. How? Place the responsibility for extracting and redistributing funds solely and entirely on the shoulders of the fed.gov. And here's where you remove all doubt that you are as clueless as you are unshowered.

Remember, if you will, how all those super-ultra-mega Wall Street companies were on the very edge of financial collapse? Wouldn't it have been fitting to your cause if they had gone up in smoke? Well, they didn't. They were propped up with my money and your money so multi-million-dollar bonuses could get paid on time and it was done so on the order of your government. Furthermore, this is a bipartisan clusterfuck: the first bailouts came at the tail-end of the G.W. Bush Administration, and continued (and inflated, and continued some more) with Obama at the helm. Because that's how it works.

The federal government has far exceeded its mandate as per the US Constitution, and the giant corporations are the only ones that reap any benefit. The corporations get huge, spend zillions lobbying Washington to squash competition. Washington follows suit because, hey: zillions. Washington applies force through legislation or worse, through agencies full of unelected and near-unfireable bureaucrats. Corporations get what they want, and come back next year with more money to lobby with. It's the Circle of Life.

No. More apropos, it's redistribution of money, and you guys are just pissed off that it's happening in the wrong direction. Now you want the river to run backwards. Well, guess what? It's still wrong. The problem is the government and the corporations. We've allowed the government to get too big and too powerful, and if they teamed up with the only entities large and wealthy enough to keep the juggernaut moving ever forward, leaving the tattered remnants of a constitutional republic and individual liberty in its wake.

And they're safe, because the squeaky wheel (that would be you, OWS) thinks the problem is with a few rich dudes having too much money. Keep falling for the smoke screen, y'all. Let me know where that gets you.

When you're ready to eat at the grown-up table, let me know. We're trying to get the power away from the .gov and the corporations, and back where it belongs: with We The People. Y'all want the government to take the power from the corporations and hoard it all. That will leave us fucked in an unimaginable sense. Well, duh. That bachelor's degree you got when you finished up your undergrad work Left-Handed Indian Basket Weaving will still be worthless in a shitty economy, no matter who's holding the reigns. And to those, I offer only this:

tweaker

Decided Out of Court

2011-10-24T10:52:00.002-05:00

So a group of American attorneys and a group of British attorneys get together to discuss the Declaration of Independence. Dr. J discusses well, and sums up even better:

You see, it doesn't matter whether the Declaration was legal, or not. American muskets made it legal, and for that reason, we have and treasure the Second Amendment.

Well, that's that.

tweaker

(Wow. Two posts in one day. Shit just got real. Also, sorry about the lack lately. Casa de Tweaker is readjusting its coordinates, so time is spent relocating stuff and actually working.)

Similar In Nature

2011-10-24T10:43:00.003-05:00

Is it just me, or does this fall right in line with "Never trust a skinny cook" just a bit too well?

h/t to Billy Beck.

For Dinner

2011-10-18T08:06:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, you may decide that a quick version of spaghetti is not blasphemy. You then find a jar of sauce that isn't terrible, mix it with some meat (ground beef, usually), boil up your noodlies, and, voila! Meal with leftovers.

And then sometimes, you find that you managed, somehow, to be devoid of ground anything. Sometimes you might find that the only way to keep this meal quick is to use what's on-hand, like some recently grilled chicken fajitas. Okay. Back on track.

Sometimes, you might find that the leftover noodles you had previously cooked to many of for the last meal that required them have become ZOMGSCIENCE ahead of (your) schedule, and that fuzzy noodles are not very appetizing. Then, you might find that the only noodlies you have left are of the Asian egg variety. Then you might cook them because, dammit, you don't have a choice at this point: you are committed.

Do not do this. It is abomination.

tweaker

Of Acid and Burritos

2011-10-17T09:49:00.001-05:00

I don't know how I managed to pull it off. Maybe the coffee hadn't kicked in yet, but I managed to maintain all professional composure while reading this story.

...Right up to "Did someone slip acid in my breakfast burrito?"

And then I lost it. That is one of the funniest stories I have ever read in my life. Srsly. That is Pink Gorilla Suit funny. OMG.

tweaker

Robb Allen is my hero.

2011-09-30T09:15:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure I've nailed down just where I fall in the political spectrum. It's libertarianism, and it's right next to Robb:

So when I say I want a smaller government, I mean I want a governing body that is focused on ensuring my rights are respected and not concerned with what kind of toilet I buy, the wattage of my light bulbs, if I’m eating the correct foods, donating to the right charities, worshiping the appropriate god, or defending myself in a manner that they deem adequate. Yes, I will make bad decisions, and when I do, I will face the consequences of them. With a government the size we have today, I’m paying for others’ mistakes, and there’s nothing fair, liberal, or moral about that.

This is me. This is what I strive for. I wanna be like Robb when I grow up.

tweaker

Chutzpa: The TSA has it.

2011-09-18T16:51:00.003-05:00

If I'd have been drinking, I would have spewed it all over my iMac when I read this:

TSA fires 28 over improper luggage screening at Honolulu airport

That takes some fucking gumption to hollar that out loud, don't it? They can fist any old lady in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank and it takes the entire fucking blogosphere before anyone hears about it. A couple bags get to skip the X-ray machine? HEADS WILL MOTHERFUCKING ROLL!!!!!!1!!1!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!

I bet you can guess how I feel about this, can't you? I knew you could.

tweaker

How I Spent My 9/11

2011-09-11T20:39:00.002-05:00

As the politicos and celebrities wax poetic about what they were doing, where they were, and how they felt on that fateful morning 10 years ago, I was busy.

As the news was overrun with stories about memorials, ceremonies, and flashbacks, I wasn't noticing.

While the rest of the nation, according to everything on TV and the internet, was mourning/remembering 9/11/01, I was not.

I searched for a place to live because I'm building a house. I went and saw my builder to check on the custom shower we're crafting. I spent US Dollars on Texas Seasoned Leg Quarters from HEB, and took them to my next-door-neighbor's house. We grilled chicken and potatoes while the women-folk, in shorts and sandals, made macaroni & cheese and a salad. We drank beer, and watched football.

Oh, and I was carrying a gun the whole time.

And that is how I spent the 10th anniversary of the most horrific event to take place on American soil in my lifetime. I lived.

tweaker

My Immortal Soul In Peril

2011-08-29T10:34:00.002-05:00

I had a rather spiritual experience yesterday (on a Sunday; how apropos!). Here I was, shopping amidst the crowds at Costco, with little to be happy about with so many people around me. My only source of joy at that point was the case of Spaten Octoberfest Marzen sitting there in my shopping cart. I was going to buy that beer. I was going to take it home and refrigerate it. And I was, by God, going to drink it.

Well, my plan was all well and good, despite each and every checkout line looking like a tribute to the DMV. That is, until I reached the register at 11:54 a.m. CDT with, among other things, my Liquid Happiness. Thank All That Is Holy, that the cashier was attentive to his duties - not that he had a choice, because the computer wouldn't have allowed it - or else I would have been able to purchase that case of beer before 12:00 p.m. in Texas. I would have bought it, walked out into the parking lot, and immediately and irreversibly had my soul wrenched from my body and dragged, kicking and screaming, to the very depths of Hell. Oh, perish the thought!

***********************

Today's motivational spiritual testimony brought to you by the blue laws of the State of Texas, without which the Lone Star State would be able to purchase the damning beverage before high noon.

tweaker

OH NOES!

2011-08-26T16:23:00.002-05:00

It appears that I have been Blacklisted!

Blogger North, whom I did not know was stalking me, finally decided that I have offended the world enough with my words and added me to the Gun Blog Black List. You can find me a couple spots down from Marko.

squeeeee!

I'm in good company there!

tweaker

Good with the Bad

2011-08-25T11:19:00.002-05:00

I had an experience yesterday that left me with what could be argued as the textbook definition of mixed feelings.

I was putting some gas in my truck yesterday afternoon, right after picking The Little Girl up from after-school care. She was in the passenger seat, and I was standing next to my truck watching the numbers go up faster than I'd like them to. I tossed around just using the cash I had on hand, because I wasn't filling up; that's budgeted for Sunday. I just needed a little. Damn, only $6. That won't get me far in a 400-horse Tundra. Okay, then. Keep the cash for breakfast tacos and coffee, put $20 on the Magic Money Card. Alrighty, then.

I was leaning up against the truck right around the time that I'd normally look on the other side of the pump, around the truck, and then around the parking lot. As I'm watching the numbers go, a guy appears damn-near right in front of me, right between the gas pump and the big column. I snapped to as he very briefly explained that he was kinda stranded and needed some gas. I took just long enough to assess him, his girlfriend who was approaching but 10 feet on the other side of the pump, and a quick way out. I put both hands in my pockets; one on my keyfob to lock the truck, and the other on my wallet.

I was coming home from work, and was not wearing a gun. Fuck.

He didn't get any closer, so I pulled my wallet and backed away from him some. I pulled out the cash I had, handed it to him and said, "Here's six bucks. That oughta get you somewhere. Take care." He accepted it, thanked me, and turned to his girl as they walked away.

*********************

So, mixed feelings. I felt pretty good. Normally, I don't have any cash on me. When I do, it's usually my lunch money for the week (that we budget carefully, else I'll go nuts and have a coronary when I see how much I spent eating out at the end of the month). I didn't think about the rest of the week, or the tacos that I'd miss. I just handed him what I had because being stuck somewhere sucks. I gave him enough for a couple gallons of gas which, in the little car they were driving, oughta get 'em a pretty good way, provided they aren't aiming at L.A. or something. Yeah, I felt pretty good.

I also felt like a fucking idiot for leaving myself wide open to get, well, whatever he might have been there to give. I was caught completely off my guard. If he'd had trouble on his mind, and half a mind to plan it, he could have bum-rushed me before I could have even locked my truck. God only knows how far that could have gone, or what I could have done to defend myself.

Well, that won't be happening again. Eyes open, head out of the clouds. It ain't just me that's counting on me.

tweaker

Bill of what to the who?

2011-08-24T17:15:00.003-05:00

No, dude, no. It's the Bill of Rights. The first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution? The. Bill. Of. Oh, fuck it. Nevermind.

Well, at least one judge in America has heard of it. Between the ruling itself, and his opinion which actually included the words "Orwellian" and "Oceania" (!!!), I'm sure he's probably being investigated for domestic terrorism right now.

Scary times, these.

tweaker

Fun, and the Having of It

2011-08-19T09:17:00.003-05:00

There is a little secret - a guilty pleasure, if you will - that I have. One of those things that, when someone else finds out, gets you looked at strangely. There are some out there that share this little secret with me.

I love to solder.

There. I said it. Oh, how I love to solder! I can do it for hours and hours, and never tire of it. The smell of burning flux, the way molten tin/lead looks like mercury, the Building of Things. It's always fun.

My career being in audio, I have built many a cable in my day. Literally thousands upon thousands of TRS, XLR, and RCA connectors found their permanent home on account of me. I build them short. I build them long. I split signals, or bring them back together. I build adapters. Want to connect Device A to Device B? I can build that. Need to get the unbalanced stereo output from your mixer into a line-in on your laptop? Hell, I made one of those yesterday, and I'll make two spares today, because Two Is One And One Is None (and because I get to build it).

Today, I'll build an adapter to allow both channels of a stereo output to combine in the left ear of a set of studio headphones, and both channels of a different stereo output to combine in the right ear of the same headphone. Could that be done with a mixer? Sure, if you want to pay for a mixer. Or, I could build it. Oh, yes. Yes I can.

This is where I stop, because it's even starting to creep me out.

tweaker

My Hero

2011-08-17T11:45:00.003-05:00

After an interview with Piers Morgan, who sheds some of his Highness and Mightiness upon him, Penn Jillette wrote an article for CNN.com. I read the article, and decided that, by golly, I loves me some Penn Jillette.

Gotta love a guy who gets his wookie suit on for CNN, had a show called Bullshit, and has a sex dungeon in his house (seriously, he does). I mean I liked him before, but now? Oh, boy:

I don't believe the majority always knows what's best for everyone. The fact that the majority thinks they have a way to get something good does not give them the right to use force on the minority that don't want to pay for it. If you have to use a gun, I don't believe you really know jack. Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid.

Well, don't that just about nail it?

Mr. Jillette says in the article something I've been saying for quite sometime. "I don't know." You don't have to have a better idea or solution to something before you're allowed to point out that the current idea or solution is wrong. How very libertarian, indeed.

h/t to SayUncle

tweaker

Uh-oh...

2011-08-16T10:41:00.002-05:00

Or, oooooohhh, shiny. Can't wait to see how this one goes down. Small, striker fired Beretta in 9mm (.40 capable). Modular (Sig P250, anyone?).

I've been wanting a pocket pistol for a while now. I'll be watching this one very closely.

tweaker

Folks I Look Up To II

2011-08-15T08:40:00.003-05:00

There is a list of bloggers I make sure to read each and every day. Most of them have at least something to say daily. Others only update every few days. Others still post many times per day. Each of them unique in their writings and distinct in their foundations, despite the blatantly obvious common thread(s) among them.

One of them is damned good with a camera on top of that, and I'd wager that none who read this blog are unfamiliar with his works. That individual is Oleg Volk. I could literally write thousands of words just to justify the hundreds of links to incredible content that he has provided in defense of firearms ownership. Today, however, he makes a point that not only defends ownership, but whose argument flies directly in the face of gun control by literally using their own argument against them:

…(I)n fact, the misuse of force by criminals and governments is the most compelling reason, far more compelling than sport or hunting, for lawful civilians to stay well armed and trained.

Again, there are a lot of ideas that I agree with that I have believed all along. Maybe if I try real hard and eat my Wheaties everyday, I can write like that.

Oh, and Oleg has only lived in America for 22 years. He lived in Soviet Russia before that. Dude knows first hand what it's like to live under the heel of jack-booted tyranny. Credential enough? Yeah.

tweaker

Folks I Look Up To

2011-08-10T14:21:00.003-05:00

There are quite a few bloggers out there that not only get me to their blogs daily, but actually wish I could write like they do. One Miss RobertaX is just such a blogger. Quite the wordsmith BobbiX is, and a fan-friggin-tastic bitter-clinger-flyover-country libertarian bent from which to smith said words is always quite visible in her writings.

Today's post sees some comparison between the current (now, what, four-day-old and counting?) riots in London and the city-fucking that occurred in the City of Angels* back in '92. In a land where self-defense is hard enough with the Law of the Land commanding a significant lack in the best tools for the job, but next to impossible with Scotland Yard coming down hard on those who have the audacity to fight back. Miss Bobbi then draws on the adage:

And armed individual is a citizen. A disarmed individual is a victim.

Truer - or more applicable - words, there are none. But that is merely the statement of fact. The truest justification for the severe application of violence resulting from violence comes from Miss Bobbi in the comments section:

I'm considerably more comfortable with lethal force used against persons in the act of harming others than when it is applied long after the fact.

That, right there, is why I read The Adventures of Roberta X each and every day. Well said, Miss Bobbi.

tweaker

Justice, Except...

2011-08-05T13:41:00.002-05:00

So, my eye was caught right away when the headline had the word "Danziger" in it:

Danziger Cops Guilty In Shooting and Cover-up

Well, ain't it about fuckin time? So, I wanted to find out just how guilty they actually got convicted of. Murder? Mass Murder? Let's read some, shall we?

Each defendant faces at least 10 counts, ranging from depravation of rights, to using a weapon under the color of law, to conspiracy and obstruction of justice. Jurors found the officers guilty on almost every count against them.

Uhhh... umm... shouldn't Murdering Someone To Death be the star of the show here? Damned article don't say. I smell something stiiiiiinkeeeeyy! On to more internets, trusty steed!

Jurors did not find that the killing of Ronald Madison rose to the level of murder. And jurors only found Kenneth Bowen guilty of shooting and killing James Brissette.

Did I miss a fucking meeting? Didn't rise to the level of murder? When you deliberately shoot someone that don't need shooting, you have fucking murdered them!!! What in the Wide World of Fuck is wrong with people?!? What kind of degenerate, simpleton, drooling fucktards did they manage to scrape out of the gene pool and into the jury pool to get some mouth-breathers to pass up a murder conviction? FUCK!

And Bowen guilty of shooting and killing, but not murder? You stupid ass-hair! He was convicted of illegally using his fucking gun, illegally shooting someone, and even of shooting and killing someone, and that doesn't qualify for murder?!?

tweaker

Domino Effect

2011-08-04T09:35:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, many states have preemption laws for certain delicate areas such as firearms. Basically, the state says that cities, counties, etc. cannot pass laws that are more restrictive than the state law. The idea is that, again using guns as an example, a person who has fulfilled the state's requirement to carry a firearm, is protected from being made criminal by walking into a city where he does something that is legal everywhere else. In the gun community, we refer to that as a "patchwork" of laws, where you never know from one city to the next where something is or isn't legal.

The problems come when a city thumbs its nose at the state preemption laws and passes a city ordinance banning, for instance, (otherwise lawfully) carrying a firearm in a city park. Such ordinances are passed under the guise of public safety, but the state has already addressed the issue and went so far as to specifically forbid the city from addressing it further. The city broke the law, but there's no one to arrest, ticket, try, or imprison for doing so.

The State of Florida finally took steps to enforce its own laws, but in a shocking turn of events the enforcement isn't against the people of the State. Enforcement, for the first time that I am aware of, will be against the people who pass and enforce laws that violate preemption. In Florida, the state preemption on firearms laws was recently given teeth. The new law, which has passed the state legislature and is about to go into effect, actually penalizes lawmakers and enforcers directly and personally.

You read that right: a city councilman will actually be personally fined in the thousands of dollars for taking part in the passing of a law that violates state preemption.

These are the warm and fuzzy feelings I have been getting ever since I heard about the penalties that lawmakers and LEOs would be personally responsible for. In fact, the idea is so far-fetched (given the current view of things) that when I heard about it I had to re-read it a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly, and when I did I wrote it off as a pipe dream that would never see the light of day.

Well, I was wrong. It did, and from that moment, the idea had already transcended just firearm laws. As Robb Allen (who clued me in to the whole thing in the first place and has been all over it ever since) put it:

Why don’t we do this for ALL laws?
Remember, while I may focus on firearms, my end goal is more freedom for all in all facets of our lives.

Yup. These sorts of laws should be on the books from a local town council all the friggin way up to - and including - Washington, D.C. I can see it now: some career Masshole Senator getting slapped with a multi-thousand-dollar fine for pushing unconstitutional law. Robb, again:

Now, one thing I’ve thought about lately is not only is HB45 effective (it’s not even law yet and these people are scrambling to comply) but that it’s a great concept – hold lawmakers and law enforcement officials accountable. Do that, and you’ll see the overbearing state take a step back.

This is the way it should be, people. Accountability does not exist in the creation and enforcement of law. Lawmakers enjoy a perfect world where, no matter how good or bad they do their job, the worst they can expect is to lose an election. Law enforcement can be fired, of course, but qualified immunity protects them from nearly all forms of prosecution for any violation of individual rights - constitutional, even - as long as said violation can be even remotely seen as enforcing the law.

The winds are blowing, and they are of the changing nature. Set sails, ye dogs, and follow them forth. There be hope yet.

tweaker

Tears Will Fall...

2011-08-02T10:47:00.002-05:00

... as you get your jollies at the expense of another. In this case, a cat. I hereby decree, this shall be the funniest thing you read on the internet today. CalvinsMom brings it:

The Ass of Terror

A beverage alert of the highest order to you, readers. Enjoy at your peril.

tweaker

They Just Don't Get It, vol. ???

2011-08-01T13:13:00.002-05:00

In yet another (not really very) shocking display of not having a fucking clue about even the most basic of economic principles, CNN puts out a headline that, well, you be the judge:

HHS announces free birth control for women in the U.S.

Someone, somewhere, has at least a few functioning brain cells left, because the headline now says:

HHS OKs birth control with no co-pay

That (HHS) is the US Department of Health and Human Services, for those who don't feel like clicking and/or searching. We cater to the lazy here, after all. Anyhoo, HHS hath, in all infinite wisdom likely stemming from its new-found yet sooper-secrit power granted by Obamacare decided that insurance companies cannot charge a single red cent for birth control to be paid by the insured.

And some mouth-breathing fucktard at CNN read that as "free birth control," and if you don't believe me, click the link and actually read the URL.

TAANSTAAFL, motherfuckers. Believe that. Someone, somewhere, will pay for that shit, and it will most likely be the insured when the rate goes up. Dumbasses.

tweaker

The Crystal Ball is a Bit Murky, Innit?

2011-07-27T09:31:00.003-05:00

Jim points out the potential - shall we say - issues with credit rating agencies. As is frequent with Mr. Jim, his blog post finishes strong, with oak body and citrus overtones:

We don't t charge a dime for telling Washington it's operating like a Three Stooges movie policed by the Keystone Kops.

That statement is so full of a level of win - normally reserved for entire blog posts - that it is at risk of exploding from the pressure exerted by its awesomeness.

tweaker

You Will Have Brotherly Love...

2011-07-19T09:01:00.002-05:00

...whether you want it or not.

Having rid Philly of all major crime, the city had to ~~label some legal activities as crime to justify having a police force~~ go after "bad behavior" in the city.

(Those quote marks are not there to point out how completely fucking stupid that phrase is in relation to law enforcement. They are there because that is the wording the city officials used. I am not making this up.)

People of the City of Philadelphia, you voted these idiots into office. Time to do something about that, innit?

tweaker

Headline News

2011-07-18T14:43:00.002-05:00

I don't get into the popular headlines. I barely have a shred of a clue anything about Casey Anthony. Don't ask me about celebrity gobbledy-gook. I'm only barely aware of the scandal surrounding some tabloid in the UK that got 86ed because they were hacking phones of victims of crimes and stuff. I did hear that they may have attempted to hack the phones of 9/11 victims, and, if so, I hope they find that Special Level of Hell.

But, in a fit of morbid curiosity, I found myself clicking on a headline that read something to the effect of "first tabloid whistleblower found dead." I thought that was interesting. What moron thought it was a good idea to have what is most likely the most well-lit witness to this whole thing whacked? "What a maroon," I thought, and clicked on over. Unfortunately, Actual Work happened and it was a few moments before I got a look at the page I landed on, and by the time I got back the headline was a far stretch from what I clicked on. "London police feel the heat in UK hacking scandal."

(By the by, didn't article headlines used to be proper nouns and, thus, capitalized?)

Paying only a little attention to that, I read through the article, and found myself frustrated as I scanned through looking for something about a dead witness through paragraph after paragraph of nonsense about the tabloid and folks whose asses are in a heap of trouble. The one and only mention of a dead whistleblower is this little gem:

One of the first voices to blow the whistle on the phone hacking — former News of the World journalist Sean Hoare — was found dead Monday in Watford, about 25 miles (40 kilometers) northwest of London. Police said the death was being treated as unexplained but was not considered suspicious, according to Britain's Press Association.

Unexplained, but not considered suspicious? Just what in the Wide World of Fuck is wrong with Scotland Yard these days? To many blows to the head while practicing with the only weapon they're allowed to carry (hint: they aren't pistol-whipping anyone)?

Anyone else hear this music in their heads right now?

tweaker

Go Directly To Hell

2011-07-15T12:38:00.003-05:00

Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

In a rare two-in-a-day post - that's how you know this is important - I find myself barely able to contain the rage, so I hereby deploy JayG's famous Rage-O-Meter (courtesy Robb Allen):

I was actually stoked when I saw the headline:

Appeals Court: TSA must halt airport body scanners

I was all evil-grin and everything. Then I read the story. In it, Judge Douglas Ginsburg wrote for the DC Circuit Court of Appeals that the porn-o-scanners violate an individual's right to privacy in a way that the old metal detectors did not.

WIN! Right? No. As is frequently the case, some asshole has to go and ruin it for everyone. And by everyone, I mean We The People, because the TSA doesn't have to stop doing a fucking thing:

Ginsburg said he would not order TSA to immediately halt the full-body screening--which resulted in a near-revolt by air travelers last fall --but instead instructs "the agency promptly to proceed in a manner consistent with this opinion."

Basically, the DC Court of Appeals' official ruling is that porn-o-scanners suck, and the fed.gov should have asked what we thought about it first. A further reading of Orin Kerr over at The Volokh Conspiracy tells us the real meat-and-potatoes of the decision, which is specifically that the porn-o-scanners do not violate the Fourth Amendment. The part about not halting the use of the scanners was merely a clarification that the part about not asking what we thought about it, though a violation of federal law, wasn't grounds to stop the practice of taking dirty fucking pictures of each and ever air traveler - or, sexually assaulting them either as an alternative or in addition to, depending on whether or not they like what they saw - and generally treating them worse than criminals.

So, the official position of the staff here Where Sometimes Things Go Bang is, fuck the DC Circuit Court of Appeals for helping shit all over the Constitution, and fuck CNET for having their heads all the way up their asses for posting a headline that was blatantly false.

Proceed in a manner consistent with this opinion? Judge Ginsburg, extra fuck you in the face with a fucking cherry on top.

tweaker

Better Late Than Never

2011-07-15T10:46:00.002-05:00

It occurred to me a few minutes ago that I have let go the immediacy of what, in my humble opinion (ha! Humble. I even typed that with a straight face), is a major news update.

The Little Girl, as many of you know, began riding horses in April of 2010. Around the same time this year, she transitioned from riding lessons to barrel racing lessons. She's ridden in three or four "practice runs" (they don't call 'em rodeos, because they're only for kids that ride at that ranch and because the insurance companies collectively shit bricks when they hear the word "rodeo") prior to last Friday. During those runs, she was noticeably upset when the other kids were winning ribbons and she was not.

Last Friday, she went in having won zero ribbons. When the smoke cleared, my daughter had won three. I wasn't this proud after her first trip to the shooting range. I am so proud!!! She took third in (cloverleaf) Barrels, third in Straightaway, and second in Poles! She was hauling ass, y'all. She would have posted first-place time in the Stake Race, but she missed the stake, so she posted no time.

Tonight, she rides again. I will be there, working the arena and screaming my head off, as usual.

tweaker

WTF??

2011-07-13T09:29:00.002-05:00

I was thinking about ranting and raving about the recent Netflix price hike because, damn it's hard being me.

;)

But then I saw something that caught my eye, and now I've kinda forgotten about, well, anything else that was going on.

Rodney King was arrested for DUI.

I swear before God, I clicked on the link to make sure that it wasn't some news link to an old story because maybe today was significant to the whole Rodney King/L.A. '92 thing. Nope. He's been busted for DUI. Again. No videotaped beatings have been reported, though his mugshot lies somewhere between this one and this one, minus some hair.

Seriously. After what happened in 1991, if I'm Rodney King? I'm never drinking again, and I'm sure as hell not doing it anywhere near California.

tweaker

For The Record

2011-07-12T09:23:00.003-05:00

I want to go on the official record here.

Before debt-ceiling talks, the basic premise has been this: Republicans wanted to cut spending. Dems did not. Can kicked up street.
Debt-ceiling deadline approached. People squawked. D.C. basically did nothing.
Debt-ceiling deadline got deadly close. Shit hit fan. Republicans want to cut spending. Dems didn't, but now do (as long as taxes go up). Republicans said GTFO.
President offered giant deficit cut (hugely aided by tax increases). Republicans said GTFO. President even offered to throw Medicaid & Social Security under the bus. Republicans still said GTFO.
President accused Republicans of political pandering. Speakertweaker drew the fucking line.

President Barack Obama, hear me now. For the first time in as long as I can remember, someone in Washington, D.C. is listening to the people what elected them.

So, for the record, I do not want any tax increases. I don't care who you allege to levy the increases against. I believe - right or wrong, and for better or for worse - that any tax increases will be a destructive force on this already fragile economy, and I don't gods-be-damned want them. If House Republicans are doing any political pandering, then, for the first time, they are pandering to their own constituents, and they should be applauded for doing so. Whether or not you are getting what you want out of it.

And everyone within the scope of my nearest voting booth had damn-well better heed these words.

tweaker

Deadly Force IMO

2011-07-11T14:40:00.002-05:00

Jay links to a post over at Weer'd's blog (I'm sure that's the first time I've ever used two apostrophes in a single word. Neat.) concerning the use of Deadly Force. I was inclined to post my $0.02 here due to the need for blogfodder. Anyhoo.

(Let it be noted that the law in TX regards the threat of deadly force in the same regard as deadly force itself. That works out in favor of the self-defender.)

Jay mentions at the beginning of his post:

On its face, and this is a point the anti-gun folks like to make, is that the contents of your wallet are not worth killing someone over. From a very superficial standpoint, this is absolutely correct - I tend to not carry much cash on me, maybe $20-30 at any given time. That's not worth taking someone's life.

He goes on to clarify a very good position on self-defense, wherein the goblin gets custom ballistic body piercing. But for me, my 'splaining stops right after the aforementioned paragraph. It's the first half of the next sentence that says all I need to say:

When someone threatens me with deadly force for my wallet...

That's it. At that point, I'mma drill his ass, and it ain't got a damned thing to do with the wallet or its contents. Goblin's going down for threatening me with deadly force. Full stop. Fortunately, and due in large part to TX's definition of lethal force I mentioned earlier, I don't have to engage a big thought process over how much money I have in my wallet (none, usually). I don't need to weight out what the bad guy's trying to take. I shouldn't have to, and if I did I'd likely be wasting precious seconds when I should be acting.

It ain't pretty, it ain't pleasant, and the aftermath of having to shoot someone is simultaneously not something I'm going to pretend is easy and a discussion for a separate post. I can certainly plan for what's going to happen before and when I pull the trigger (God forbid), and it's not going to be over enough cash to cover fast food for two if it happens.

tweaker

MRI Suck Factor: Seven

2011-07-08T11:17:00.003-05:00

On the long list of things that suck, I can say that a full body MRI (as opposed to an extremity MRI) gets a bump way up near child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

I wouldn't say I get claustrophobic easily. I really don't dig on small spaces, but I don't freak out in elevators or automobiles, for instance. It's really not until the space is so small that I can't move that I start to consider dismantling my container. Well, an MRI is roughly the size of a toilet-paper roll as far as I'm concerned, and laying still in it for 45 minutes was surely the equivalent of what William Wallace experienced at the end of Braveheart.

Thank God they didn't use an MRI. Whew!

Srsly. Fuck each and every inch of that machine.

When I was fully inside, there was a little vent right in front of my face that blew cool air. It would have been nice, except it blew it directly into my left eye. Having ice cold air blowing into my eye while the rest of me cooked in what must have been a heated MRI laid the groundwork for a nice headache. I was sweating already as my nerves degenerate from civilized human to rabid, raging zombie silverback gorilla, and as the temperature climbed to somewhere around SterileºF, things only got worse. The headache was settling in nicely right around the time that my pain meds wore off, which meant my back started to stiffen up and eventually ache along with my head. At least with the earplugs in, I could hear my pulse pounding along with the throbbing in my head and back, and it kinda made for a nice song in my head (something along the lines of "Hammer-Smashed Face" by Cannibal Corpse).

Never again. Next time I have to have an MRI, the only thing that will keep the recommending doctor's limbs attached will be the prescription sedative he gives me for the special day.

Oh, and a six-pack of double wheat bock will return your nerves to normal. Eventually.

tweaker

An Eye for a Shitload of Eyes

2011-07-06T12:26:00.002-05:00

I was afraid the .mil justice system was going to find itself, like many other military things, awash in bureaucracy and reduced to the least offending denominator.

Looks like I was wrong. I hope they light his ass up in a hurry.

tweaker

My Gift to the Internets

2011-07-03T19:59:00.002-05:00

Recently, I was turned on to a beer mixer that I quite like. It's called a Bitter Monk. Not to be confused with the double IPA from Anchorage Brewery that shares the same name, this combination of two beers - think Black and Tan - comes together to make a whole greater than the sum of its parts.

To make a Bitter Monk, take equal parts Leffe Blonde and Stone Pale Ale. If you're going to use 12-oz. bottles, get yourself a big damned mug, because when you pour the Leffe you're going to end up with a shit-tonne of head. Pour the Leffe first, then pour the Stone in behind it. Don't bother with a bar spoon or Lagerhead: the Leffe and Stone are both more or less equally dense, and they won't separate like a Black and Tan or a Half and Half will. Just let 'em mix.

Then, take your big-ass mug of brew and pour it into your face. Enjoy!

*sidenote - thank all the Gods for Blogger's autosave feature. I damn-near lost this post when I closed the wrong tab!

tweaker

Engineering, and the Lack Thereof

2011-06-28T20:03:00.002-05:00

I forced myself - against my better judgement - to watch the opening performance of The Voice, with the four judges performing Freddie Mercury and David Bowie's "Under Pressure." I fully expected it to be bad.

Let me tell you, with every bit of objectivity I can muster, that it was well and truly awful. Never mind that Christina Aguilera's urban yodeling has no place, well, anywhere. Or that Adam Levine just can't. (Seriously, dude. David Bowie is strongly considering suicide so he can start rolling over in his grave.) I rather like Cee Lo Green, and Blake Shelton falls right in that level of like.

No, even if the four of them had actually rehearsed that song more than zero times it would have sucked. Even if they had tried to act like a group of four vocalists instead of everyone trying to be the hero and carry the song (Cee Lo being the only exception). Even if Christina could stop fucking with her in-ear monitor as if that will suddenly make the urban yodeling not terrible.

That performance was never going to be better than terrible (sounding) because NBC seems to have forgotten to hire an audio engineer for the broadcast. I could have mixed that crap better drunk, blindfolded, and backwards.

I sincerely hope that the broadcast console got hit by lightning right before the show, so that the engineer has an excuse. Otherwise, NBC needs to kick the fader-pusher off the truck and bring in someone with more experience than mixing the church band once a month.

[/critic]

tweaker

I'll Always Respect The Flag...

2011-06-27T11:19:00.002-05:00

...as well as all those who fought and died to defend her. I'm just not so sure about what she stands for anymore.

I'm not so sure half-staff would cut it on this one. Hang your head, America. Be ashamed. I know I am.

Will someone please tell me when it's time for the fourth box?

tweaker

Another Hetero Post On Gay Marriage

2011-06-26T09:43:00.003-05:00

Any homosexuals out there who may stumble upon this post, I sincerely hope that you have some comfort in knowing that you are in the unique political position of not fighting your battle alone. There are heterosexual individuals and couples out there who've got your back. I do. So does this guy, who has a pretty positive outlook for you. God-willing (or whoever you pray to, and if you don't pray, then just maybe;) you won't even have to wait that long.

It'd be like hoplophobes fighting for Second Amendment rights.

Anyway, LGBT community, keep your head up. The dominoes are falling.

tweaker

You Don't Believe That

2011-06-25T20:44:00.003-05:00

So, there's apparently a great deal of attention on the State of New York, USA. In a shocking turn of events, the state passed a law legalizing marriage to same-sex couples.

Well, shit. Now my marriage isn't sacred [/sarcasm].

Frankly, I'm shocked that giving more that two shits or a fuck about individual rights happened in NY at all. NY is right up there in the Royal Family of Nanny States, alongside such brilliant ~~deathplaces of freedom~~ US states as California and Massachusetts. Someone tell Rick Perry. He's letting folks float the "L" word in describing him (no, not lesbian, however apropos; I was referring to "libertarian") and I can't figure out why. Sure, you can carry a gun in TX - he does - but we'll be damned if a dude can suck another...

Suffice to say we all know where that was going. *ahem* Anyhoo. It took the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals to get dildos legalized here. Seeing the pattern yet? All politicians wanna shit on your rights. It's just a matter of what order they do it in.

So, it didn't take too long before The Enlightened One chimed vicariously in on the whole gay marriage thing. By way of a White House Spokesman, we heard all about how Øbama believes same-sex couples are entitled to the same rights and privileges as everyone else. We even go this gem of a quote:

The states should determine for themselves how best to uphold the rights of their own citizens.

Lolwut?!? Y'all pay attention, 'cause I'm only gonna say this one (on this post, anyway): Barack Obama does not believe that statement. Not even a little bit. He probably figures it's okay, though. Neither did Dubya.

tweaker

It's Almost Like They Listen

2011-06-23T07:56:00.002-05:00

Just a glimpse at this headline makes you think that our voices, at long last, have been heard!

Of course, the saavy terrorist will use this as an opportunity to use a sub-11-year-old to smuggle his plastic explosives and Glock 7 through security. Someone think of the children!

Color me unimpressed. Sure, it's great that children 10 and under can skip the grope. I'll try to explain that to my daughter when she's 11. The article - and the .gov fuckheads - makes no mention of whether the kiddos can still avoid being sexually assaulted if they don't go through the porn-o-scan. And who decided that 10 and under is safe, while 11 and up is ZOMGTERRIST!!!1!!

Until that policy is thrown out, in its entirety, on its face, it is still an abomination before any with a sense of freedom at all. Personally, I won't be happy until the policy gets tossed and anyone who wrote the policy is prosecuted for sexual assault alongside anyone who carried the policy out.

*************************************

Keep your eyes peeled and your ears to the ground, people. As we draw closer to another election season, all the .gov wants to appear to give a damn about your rights. Don't buy it. They do not.

tweaker

Hang Your Head, Boy

2011-06-20T10:37:00.002-05:00

At the risk of sounding like that mouthpiece from the Dixie Ducks, I am ashamed of a certain part of Texas right now. This kind of thing is supposed to come from out in JayG's part of the world.

Texas? Srsly? I swear, the whole world is coming to an end.

h/t to SayUncle.

tweaker

Cookin Up A New Shooter

2011-06-15T08:00:00.002-05:00

I have answered the call. I am going to do everything in my power to help a friend I've known since high school (who knows I'm a gun nut) become a shooter.

She just went shopping yesterday for her first gun, and she's already getting pointed toward the de facto standard Good Gun For Women: the snub-nosed .38. Uhhmm... no. She was also presented with a Glock 33. Sure, why not a subcompact plastic fantastic in 9mm Super+P+P+SuperP+?

*sigh*

I covered some basics in an email (along with some not-so-basics. I can't help it; I love this stuff!), gave her the Four Rules, and pointed her toward the encyclopedic website of the Queen of Practical Gun-Totin' Wimmens.

I figured that's enough drinking from the firehose for one night;)

I gotta tell ya, I'm excited. She's already told me she's excited. This is gonna be great! I'd give just about anything to be there for her first trip to the range.

tweaker

Is It Just Me?

2011-06-14T07:27:00.003-05:00

Am I the only one who thought that the whole Weiner thing was a distraction until the White House said so?

Anyone?

tweaker

Horror Stories

2011-06-13T13:17:00.001-05:00

I like horror stories (as a genre). Sure, I like Freddy Krueger, too, but I tend to lean more toward horror stories with a hero. And not just any hero, either. An action hero. The kind with bad guys that are scary as fuck, but have a protagonist capable of opening up such an over-pressurized can of Whoopass that, by the end, there's damn-near no one left standing to look at the hero, hold up a beer, and scream, "Hellz Yeah!"

Think Army of Darkness or Monster Hunter International. Yeah. That.

So, it was with no relation to the aforementioned preferences that I was led to learning about the Stanford Prison Experiment by Breda's post relating it to some recent atrocities. I had no prior knowledge of said experiment, but I had heard that name somewhere before so I decided to read the Wiki entry. Besides, it was from Breda! What could go wrong?

Well, I made it through the general description of the experiment, got through the basic logistics, and even the overview of its failure. It wasn't until I got to the tail end of the "Results" section that I remembered why I was reading it, which occurred because I started to see the parallels that I'm assuming led to Breda's having made the association in the first place.

I stopped reading the article.

tweaker

Damn Gun Nuts

2011-04-21T08:17:00.003-05:00

One of those friggin bitter-clinger gun-totin nutjobs is sure to read this story and say something about malls in Colorado being Bomb-Free Zones. (Wait, I'm a bitter, clinger, etc. It's me! W00t!)

I bet the bastards didn't even post signs. Remember, signs save lives!

Wonder how long it's gonna be before the Mall-A-Bomber™ starts having questions raised about his political leanings. I mean, unless he's ZOMGTEHMUZZLIM. Then no one will say shit.

tweaker

Future Shooty Goodness?

2011-04-19T05:45:00.004-05:00

Alas, another year goes by and I am unable to fulfill my duty on Buy a Gun Day.

Not for lack of wanting, mind you. We were out last weekend to get some shoes for The Little Girl. She wanted some sandals, and I quickly got tired of ~~El Cheapo Shoe Emporium~~ Payless, so off to Academy Sports we went. We found her some Sketchers pretty quickly. Of course, I could not leave without perusing the BBQ stuff and the gun counter (in that order).

At the gun counter, happiness was located. There was nothing for us in the bolt-action rimfire selection, so we moved down to the handguns where, lo and behold, there was a boomstick who's time had passed (and, apparently, come back 'round). Beretta is making the 92 Compact L again!

From a distance, it looks just like a 92FS. For the most part, that's true. It still has the same open-slide design, just shorter. The barrel is also shorter, and the tip of the barrel doesn't protrude as far from the slide as the bigger pistol; in fact, the barrel is only a touch shy of being flush with the slide. The grip is shorter as well. Enough so that the magazines come with a slight pinky extension. My hands are big, and I juuuuust needed that extension, so the smaller-handed may never need it. To accommodate 13-rd double-stacked 9mm magazines, the width is the same as its big brother, which is a major selling point for The Wifey (who has no use for thinner pistols. She selected our 92FS because of the grip size, not in spite of it). If you pine for a thinner pistol, fret thee not. According to Beretta International, they are also making the Type M variant: a thinner pistol with 8-rd single-stacked 9mm magazines.

Needless to say, The Wifey quickly fell in love. She was not alone.

I've been after a 1911 for some time now. I know I'll get one; it's just a matter of when. I've always like Springfield 1911s, so I grab them whenever they're there for the grabbing. Now I've grabbed the one I'mma buy one day.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a Parkerized Springfield Armory Loaded 1911 in .45ACP. Ain't she a beaut? Comes from the factory with a slew of options; some of which I want on a gun I intend to carry (Novak sights with Tritium inserts, a beavertail grip safety), some of which I don't need but like anyway (skeleton trigger/hammer), and some that have a fair or better chance of being replaced (mainspring housing with ILM, full-length guide rod, ambidextrous thumb safety). I've held a ton of 1911s. I've never found one I didn't like, but this one was magic. This one will be mine. And for $850 at Academy, I'd be crazy not to!

So there you have it, folks. The Wifey gets the next gun, and there's a very good chance she'll wait on the bolt gun and get the compact 92. I'm all for either choice. I have no doubt what my next gun will be, though.

Now, we wait...

tweaker

On the Drinking of Coffee

2011-04-08T11:11:00.003-05:00

I am a coffee addict.

There. I said it. We've all got our vices. Don't judge me.

Particularly as of late, as I have been on a new diet and have been devoid of nearly all liquid refreshment beyond water, have accepted that coffee - a beverage that I could not truly function without in the first place - is my lifeline. It is not a strange sight any longer to see me with a hot cuppa at any given time of day. Or night.

Also not unusual is paying for a cuppa when I'm not in facilities that are equipped for me to make my own. Starbucks - who no longer gets too much money out of me in return for those evil, delicious lattes - regularly receives my patronage as long as a good bold coffee or Americano isn't too much to ask. I get a great big cup with room for cream and off I to top it off with half & half (because those communists never have whole/heavy cream). I'll take a few feeble attempts at a sip before I pull out my trusty Gerber spring-assisted micro-stabulator and make the teeny, tiny ventilator hole big enough to actually pass air into the cup as I draw coffee out.

The whole Starbucks routine was taking place as I was reading the daily blogs until I reached for the Gerber and it wasn't there. And that's when it hit me.

Fuck the TSA. At least I made it around San Antonio International's shiny new porn-o-scanners. Fuck 'em all, in job-lots.

*************************

I'm off to Phoenix here in a few. I'll keep y'all posted.

tweaker

I'm Pain. Remember me?

2011-03-24T09:19:00.003-05:00

As many of you may remember, I have a long history of issues with my knees. Strangely enough, despite having gained ~~a metric fuck-ton~~ a significant amount of extra Me for my legs to carry, I have enjoyed being mostly pain-free in my knees for quite some time now.

Well, that shit came to a grinding halt today, lemmetellya. My left knee is howling songs in seven different languages right now, and all of them hurt like nobody's bidness. I mean bad. I'm wondering if it's not some sort of revenge for a wrong I committed against that knee in a past life.

No joke. My knee fucking hurts. I'mma be here with a bag of ice if you need me.

tweaker

Trippin the Geek Fantastic

2011-03-23T08:38:00.004-05:00

I've been neglecting the old blog here (for all three or four of you that read it). I've been busy. With Dragon Age II coming out on March 8, I see even less of the outdoors than I already did. Hell, if my kid wasn't in horseback riding lessons the only time I'd see the light of day would be going to and from work.

If that isn't bad enough, I now have a backup plan for when my selfish family hogs up the TV the TV is in use. I bought Neverwinter Nights several months ago, but when my PC would barely run Icewind Dale, I never loaded Neverwinter Nights. Well, the new job I got came with several perks, not the least of which (by a damn sight) is the mac-daddy of MacBooks. My copy of Neverwinter Nights is for Windows. I had heard of running Windows versions of software on Macs through programs like Parallels Desktop and VMWare, but never games.

Well, what did I have to lose?* I installed Neverwinter Nights Diamond on Windows 7 in VMWare on my MacBook Pro running OS X 10.6.6 (10.6.7 as of this morning; NN should still be okay). Had to pull some karate to make it run (run as admin, back-end a patch, slaughter a goat, pray to Mecca, but it works).

I am geek. Hear me roar.

tweaker

*Don't answer that.

Let Me Tell You How You Feel

2011-03-16T15:35:00.002-05:00

The Wifey has come a long way as a gun owner and shooter. When we were dating, she told me that there would never be guns in her home. Now, she owns multiple firearms. She wants to get her CHL. I made a gunnie! W00t!

I can look back now and see successes and mistakes that I made along the way. One of the things I remember is helping her steer clear of bad advice. I don't know all, and knew even less then, but I knew bad advice when I heard it. When 9mm is a plinking round but a .40 hits like a truck, it's time to head to another gun store.

All these things in mind led to her first time at the shooting range. We rented, and she fired as her first handgun ever, a Beretta 92FS. Good thing, too, because if she had followed advice that she - along with a few other gunchicks - have heard before, her first time at the firing range could have easily been her last. Believe me, I know. Since I improperly instructed her on the finer points of shotgun firing, she wants nothing to do with the Mossberg we bought her. It's going to take a long time and a lot of convincing to correct that, and she's been shooting for 8 or 9 years now. God forbid had something like that happened on her first range trip.

Ultra-lightweight .38 snubbies fit a very specific need. From what I've heard, by actually listening to the women when words come from them (it's not just noise. Srsly. Try it. You'd be surprised), that need is not What Gun For First-Time Female Shooter. Resulting from the experience of listening to women instead of categorizing them and making decisions for them, I tell women who show interest in guns to walk away when someone tells them they need a .38 snubbie. I always make sure to follow that up with an all-expenses-paid trip to the range, where a .22 autoloader and a stainless 92FS (minimum; more if I can) are in their future.

tweaker

How'd That Work Out?

2011-03-08T13:39:00.003-06:00

I can't do any better for humor on this story than the headline itself:

Man allegedly karate chops air marshall

And today's award for Epic Stupid at Several Thousand Feet goes to...

*drumroll*

tweaker

Free Speech and a Body Count

2011-03-04T08:09:00.003-06:00

I love my daughter. I can hardly think about her without drumming up recent images of her riding her favorite horse, or more distant images of her tiny, tiny form looking so inquisitively at me as I held her in my arms just days after her birth. I'm always smiling when I think of that.

She's eight years old now. She's got her whole life before her. She can be, well, she can do whatever she damn-well pleases, and as long as I can lift a finger, I will secure for her every available opportunity to do so, normal parenting responsibilities, of course, aside. I would defend her with every fiber of my being, and with my life. Failing that, she will receive her Rites and we will say our last goodbyes to her in accordance with the Catholic Faith, and in a Catholic Church.

At this point in time, it is not fashionable for Fred Phelps and Co. (I simply refuse to call them a church) to have their little attention-getting sessions at the funerals of little girls. Calling out the grieving families of fallen Marines seems to be the Thing du Jour, and so, theoretically, a service for my daughter would go uninterrupted by their shenanigans. Given recent events, though, what would stop them?

Every time I think of these morons, I am filled with hate. When I hear of them picketing a funeral, it is my sincerest hope that the next thing I hear about is the lot of them getting their asses kicked, or mowed down in a hail of gunfire. I know that it is would be both morally and legally wrong for that to happen, and I know that it is morally wrong for me to wish those things on other people. While I am Catholic and Libertarian, I am first human, and it is largely a human trait to imagine oneself in another's shoes. I cannot imagine the pain of having to bury my daughter, but I can certainly imagine the pain I would willingly inflict on a group of shitheads trying to make a publicity stunt out of my daughter's funeral.

SCOTUS says the government offers me no protection from Phelps and Co.*, and that I cannot recover damages pursuant to an IIED tort**. Sadly, that same government will fall with its full weight on me when I visit extreme, depraved violence on them.

Something just doesn't add up here.

Through the eyeholes in my Wookie Suit, I can plainly see the First Amendment implications of the Phelps decision had it gone a full pendulum's swing the other direction. I'm not saying the .gov should disallow Phelps and Co. from holding signs. But even through my Wookie Suit, I couldn't ignore the details of Justice Alito's dissent. This was more than holding signs across the street from a church. This was a direct personal attack on the family of a fallen Marine, designed to be as outrageous as humanly possible for the purpose of attracting attention. Despicable is far too polite a word. Frankly, the only word I can think of for these people is 'target.'

I thought SCOTUS did the right thing until I read the dissent. I don't think that anymore. I'm not saying I know what the right answer is, but I know this one is wrong.

tweaker

------------------------------------
*Of course, they cannot trespass on Church property. That helped a lot, didn't it.

**The linked Wiki article notes an example where the defendant could, despite the having the knowledge, tell the plaintiff he doesn't know where the plaintiff's kidnapped child is. Outside of a similar argument, Snyder v. Phelps effectively renders the remaining possible uses of the tort useless.

Wait, What?

2011-03-02T09:01:00.004-06:00

I was reading along with this article from CNN.com when I came across a paragraph that gave me great pause:

Democrats have repeatedly argued Republicans are exacerbating the budget crunch by refusing to allow an expiration of the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. The cuts passed the then-Democratic-controlled Congress late last year.

Ummm... Y'all read that for me and tell me if it doesn't look an awful lot like CNN just took a shot at the entire Democrat Party right there. It does look like that, does it not?

Here's how I read that:

Democrats: You eeevil Republicans wouldn't let the tax cuts for the Wealthiest One Percent expire, and that's why the budget problem is so bad!
CNN, in a rare moment of journalistic neutrality: "Uh, guys? Didn't those cuts get extended by the Democrat Supermajority in Congress last year, and approved by a Democrat President?"
Republicans, aside: "WTF just happened?!?"

Feel free to correct me in comments if I'm wrong.

UPDATE: This'll teach me to post on a story before I finish reading it. Cue The Artist Formerly Known as Madame Speaker, who apparently cannot be convinced of the post-mortem condition of her noble steed:

Congress should use the two weeks provided by the bill for a "reality check," said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-California. "I just want to know where everyone was when the deficit grew in the eight years of the Bush administration."

Jesus, Harold, and Maude. Nancy, I know he bent your tiara and everything, but it's still Bush's fault? Let it go, hon. You're only embarrassing yourself.

tweaker

"Oblige Him!"

2011-02-25T13:51:00.003-06:00

Certainly, I'm not the only one who read the following headline in the NPR feed:

'We Will Die Here On The Dear Soil Of Libya'

And immediately thought:

We got a tyrant here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!

Naw, there's no way I'm the only one:)

tweaker

Sorta, Kinda, but Not Really

2011-02-23T12:27:00.004-06:00

I swear, one of these days I'm going to get around to the post on the music industry that I mentioned yesterday, but I just found something that really set my head slightly to the right.

"Wait. I don't see what you did there."

It almost looks, for a moment, that a shred of wisdom was going to escape that perpetual Vortex of Stupid that is Washington, D.C. The Obama Administration has decided that the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act, specifically the part about the fed.gov not recognizing gay marriage, will no longer be defended. His Obamaness instructed US Attorney General Eric Holder to stop defending the constitutionality of the law in court.

Sounds like a win for gay rights, right? If you said no, giveth thee one cookie.

From the CBSNews.com article:

Holder said that despite the decision, his department will "remain parties to the cases and continue to represent the interests of the United States throughout the litigation." He added that members of Congress can still elect to defend the statute and that Justice will "work closely with the courts to ensure that Congress has a full and fair opportunity to participate in pending litigation."

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said that enforcement of the policy will -- at least for now -- continue.

See that? Yeah, right there. They're paying lip service to the Constitution of the United States of America in the headline, then turning right the fuck around with plans to continue the defense and enforcement of the law in question.

They're not saying that the law is flat unconstitutional (edit: why is that word so hard to type? You'd think as a libertarian, I'd be used to it by now:). They're just saying they won't defend the constitutionality of the law. They're still going to defend the law itself, and in fact still enforce it. Why? Well, if they flat out admit that the law is unconstitutional, then there's no way in all nine circles of hell they could defend it.

Looks to me like they got tired of hearing all the gays bitching and moaning about DOMA - which Obama promised in his campaign to repeal - so they thought of something that would appear to make good on the campaign promise while not totally alienating the Religious Right who would, in turn, show up with torches and pitchforks if the administration moved toward actually tossing DOMA out on its ass.

"Hi! We're from the GOP. Can we have a moment of your time?"

Someone please explain to me how homosexual men and women aren't all rabid, heartless libertarians. I just don't get it.

tweaker

Good Reading

2011-02-22T13:59:00.002-06:00

Well, I was thinking about posting up along the lines of one of Peter's posts from today, but I read something over at Groundhog's place that changed my mind. I do music post later. Today, some linky-love.

Go RTWT. Is good.

tweaker

Everyone Feel Safe Now?*

2011-02-19T13:01:00.002-06:00

I have an idea.

Since there are so many (I didn't say majority. Work with me here) in the country that aren't bothered by the Porn-O-Scan at the airport, and we're in desperate need of some serious reduction in budgets, I propose this solution.

(Follow the NSFW link)

Form two lines, please. I'll be in my Tundra.

tweaker

*Only reason I don't post the picture is because I don't want to be flagged as offensive. Otherwise, I'd let it fly here.

The Ongoing Debate on Open Carry

2011-02-17T13:30:00.002-06:00

Lately, a great deal has gone on about open carry. Strangely enough, the argument - as far as I can tell, anyway - isn't about open carry at all. It's about one's attitude. In comments on several blogs, I have said, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's not just a good idea; it's the law." It's true. Whether or not you are acting within the bounds of the law, public perception of your actions can make or break you. It doesn't always, and sometimes it bites you in the ass when you least expect it.

Thing is, the pro-gun folks who are all for forcing the issue? Yeah, try to tell them that you can be in the right all you want and still turn people against you. Or that you can still make people very nervous or uncomfortable. Those guys will just tell you that you are wrong, and that all the other people are wrong. Everyone, it seems, is wrong except them. That, for me, sends up all kinds of red flags.

Breda tried to point out how attitude comes into play. She got chided by many. pdb backed her up, only to face the same type of opposition. Many bloggers - myself included - tried to do the same, and all the in-your-face-with-my-rights-types all plugged their ears and told us how wrong we are. Turns out, Breda and pdb may have been on to something.

Robb Allen, who does PR for Florida Open Carry, had a very objective post on the subject, and it brings the topic back on track. It's not about your rights, or what's legal, or what gun you choose to OC. We all want those things to be okay, but there are good and bad ways to get there, and (literally or figuratively) shoving your boomsticks in people's faces ain't how it's done.

Let's try to remember that we're all on the same team, folks. Sooner or later, it's really going to matter.

tweaker

Awesome Airlines

2011-02-15T14:50:00.002-06:00

*Shamelessly stolen from myself on Teh Facebookz. Idea to blog it instead of just FB it shamelessly stolen from Breda.

LEVEL IV BEVERAGE ALERT

Seanbaby has a better idea for airline security. It's a whole new airline. NSFW:

Other airlines, let's call them pussies, take your liquids from you before you get on. They're worried your shampoo is going to explode. At Awesome Airlines, we think that would kick ass. You'd have to be a goddamn idiot to think someone's shampoo is a bomb, but if yours is, then fucking welcome aboard, Agent James Bond.

Go. Enjoy.

tweaker

Housekeeping

2011-02-12T12:00:00.000-06:00

There's a new section over there on the right under "Bloggers I've Met" (which I mean to expand here in the not-too-distant future). It's called "Entertainment," and it lists the websites that ~~I look at when I'm supossed to be working~~ are good for laughing and stuff. There will be many more, but for now allow me to convince you why you should check out Badass of the Week:

...[I]t's the mighty Poseidon – the Greek god of the sea, and a mega-bearded unstoppable badass so over-the-top awesome he can only be physically depicted through the medium of towering marble sculptures carved from the tusks of the long-extinct sea creatures that Poseidon himself summoned for the sole purpose of being murdered and carved into a likeness of the Sea God. Nowadays Poseidon gets kind of hosed, like he's the fucking Aquaman of mythological Greece, but in real life this guy a seriously hardcore, ill-tempered motherfucker who responded to even the most trivial affront by powerbombing a tsunami up your ass and then sending a bunch of vindictive dolphins to dry-hump your lifeless corpse for extra humiliation.

This guy runs one funniest informative (srsly. Dude knows his shit) website on the web. Don't believe me? Go learn about Honey Badgers.

Enjoy!

tweaker

Couple Notes of Humor

2011-02-11T15:25:00.003-06:00

I saw a couple things today. One made me laugh, the other made me briefly worry.

First, from Jim, comes this bit about pet care:

Reminds me I need to take New Dog to the vet to confirm that she's been immunized against voluntary interactions.

RTWT. Good stuff.

Next, I thought a blogger I read (who hasn't posted lately, *nudge-nudge) dun got herself in trouble with her institute of ~~questionable~~ higher learning. Turns out, that was someone else.

tweaker

Of Boomsticks and The Law

2011-02-10T18:45:00.002-06:00

Interesting time for things that go bang. Iowa is now a shall-issue state (raising my glass to you, Jim! Here's to shall-issue and warmer weather), much to the dismay of many Sheriffs. Looks like the duty to retreat's in the crosshairs next. Illinois is taking up concealed-carry again. Texas is finally getting around to campus carry and parking lot laws. Florida is going for open carry, and God willing, Texas won't be far behind. 2A was confirmed an individual right - self-defense included - and was incorporated. Arizona passed constitutional carry, and Tennessee is taking it up.

Yes. We are winning. Let's keep it up.

tweaker

Almost Business As Usual

2011-02-09T07:58:00.004-06:00

Warning: foul language lies ahead. Lots. Even the f-bomb, repeatedly.

Well, I guess the House of Representatives got my letter yesterday by mistake. Understandable, with so many douchebags in Washington, a letter like that could easily reach the wrong address.

Of course, in departure from that sort of near-predictability, the House took the message to mean that they should stop spending all my fucking money so they can shit all over my rights (all quoted text is from this linked article). See, a portion of the ~~We Can Fuck You Out Of Your Rights If We Can Construe You As A Terrorist Act~~ Patriot Act came up for renewal, and quite nearly passed. Naturally, since that turd of a law (but I repeat myself) was Hooray, Republican!, the Dems were all lined up against it.

I haven't wanted to kick a puppy so bad as I did when I read Dennis Kucinich's response to the failure of the extension to pass:

"The Patriot Act represents the undermining of civil liberties,"

Hey, Dennis? How did you vote on Obamacare? You don't get to put on your cape and tights in defense of my civil liberties. Please go fuck yourself. Silently.

Thanks to a brave few Tea-Party Republicans (EDIT: it is hard to drip with sarcasm on a blog) the bill failed, much to the dismay of ~~Other-Party Citizen-Fuckers~~ the Republican base as a whole. Naturally, the Rs disagree:

House leaders rejected that analysis. "Democrats in Congress voted to deny their own administration's request for key weapons in the war on terror," said Erica Elliott, spokeswoman for Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.).

Here we go. *sigh*

Rep. Steve Southerland (R-Fla.), a freshman who voted yes, said the measure is "going to need some examination going forward, so all I did today is just, hey, instead of making a wrong decision, we're just going to do a little more due diligence to make the very right decision to both protect our security as well as protect the civil liberties of the American people."

"This is just a temporary extension, so the Judiciary Committee can dive a little deeper into the details," said Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), a second-term lawmaker closely aligned with tea party activists. "That seemed fair. I don't want to let it expire without giving it full contemplation."

Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.), who sponsored the extension, told reporters after the vote that opposition had little to do with the particular provisions being considered Tuesday and more to do with other counter-terrorism tools that have received scrutiny. "People didn't understand it," he said. "A lot of the complaints that we heard were about sections [of the law] not in this bill."

Hey, look over there! Don't look over here at the truth! Look over there, at the smoke! That is where happy and stuff is! Look, before I tell you all to collectively GFY (silently, mind you), know that a few of us (again, with the sarcasm difficulties) are hearing what you are saying. You are saying that you just wanted to extend the law - the one that no one really complained about anyway - for a few months so you can really study it and consider it. Also, we just don't understand.

Yeah. Fuck you.

But the highlight of the story comes from the White House. Yes, that one, with the Democrat to End All Democrats, Mr. Socialized Medicine himself. Remember the whole civil liberties thing? Yeah, uuhhh:

The White House said in a statement Tuesday that it "does not object" to extending the three Patriot Act provisions until December. However, it added, the administration "would strongly prefer" an extension until December 2013, noting that the longer timeline "provides the necessary certainty and predictability" that law enforcement agencies require while at the same time ensuring that Congress can continue to review the law's effectiveness.

We don't really like it, but we won't object. We'd really like a longer extension though, you know, for more of that studying and considering.

Yup, you guessed it. Yourself. Go. Silently.

Remember folks, this law failed by a measly seven votes short of a supermajority which was needed under special rules for laws that aren't controversial. I guess controversial only means for... Well, I guess controversial doesn't mean shit. Fuck their rules. They don't care about them, why should we?

Also remember that this just means the measure will come up again during regular-old voting, where only a simple majority will be needed. Once again Congress shows that they have all kinds of ways of fucking you, including "special rules" and multiple bites at the apple with varying numbers of votes required.

Fuck Congress, both houses. Fuck the White House. Fuck Democrats. Fuck Republicans. Fuck the Tea Party. Fuck the laws they create and enact.

Fuck 'em all.

tweaker

A Letter to the White House

2011-02-08T16:05:00.003-06:00

Dear Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, and the current administration in the White House:

Stop spending all my fucking money, assholes!!!

Thank you, and have a wonderful day.

Sincerely (no, really. Sincerely.),

tweaker

Vouchers

2011-02-05T18:36:00.003-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have always had a special place in my heart for people who believe in and/or take weight loss pills. They represent the basest desires for results without the slightest hint of motivation. They are the epitome of lazy.

They are a near limitless supply of jokes. Seriously. I mean, I am quite a few pounds away from my First Date Weight (re: beer-gutted bastard; fat fuck; full-blown sufferer of Dunlap Disease), and I know it. I also know that, in order to reduce this harpoon-scarred gut I have in front of me, I will have to burn more calories in a day than I consume. Count calories, watch fat intake, etc. One other thing I know is that there is no pill that will melt off the pounds.

Okay, to be fair, there are plenty of things you can take to melt off the pounds. Take crack-cocaine, for instance. Sure, it'll melt the pounds away - along with any desire to shower - but the cons kinda out weigh the pros, know what I mean? Anyone remember Fen-phen?

Well, today I realized that there is an entirely new level of stupid where diet pills are concerned. Xenadrine is running an ad that, like every other weight-loss pill ever marketed, features before-and-after pictures of folks that were a little pudgy in the before and either ripped (for the guys) or smokin, Holy-Two-Piece-Batman hawtness (for the womens). Oh, and there's also a full-blown, certified douchebag celebrity endorsement.

"Yes, you can trust me with medical stuff. Like weight loss, and vaginal freshness."

That, y'all, is a picture of an actual Jersey Shore Douchebag!

In light of this development, we here at Where Sometimes Things Go Bang have developed a new program. It's a voucher program. It's simple: you do something that proves that your seed desperataely, and with great haste, needs to be removed from Ye Olde Gene Pool, and you get a voucher. Take it to your nearest hospital where you can surrender your reproductive organs have a special procedure where you go to sleep, wake up, and they even give you drugs! Hooray drugs, right?

Okay, fuckit. There's no polite way to say it. Get thee to the hospital and get yourself sterile. You are too stupid to reproduce. If you are looking at Senor Douche up there and thinking, "It seems safe!" then you are a moron.

tweaker

Overheard on Teh Facebooks

2011-02-04T11:06:00.003-06:00

A friend posted a status concerning her feelings for the ultra-security, prison-esque feeling of their local elementary school. She felt, despite having submitted to a criminal background check to be approved as a chaperone and being regularly seen in the school, that for the school to continue to coldly treat her like a total stranger was uncorrect. "I am no criminal, and my son isn't, either," she said.

I know how she feels. I have family attending the elementary school I went to when I was a kid. Once, when I was in town, I went with her father to pick one of them up from school as a surprise. I was literally chilled to walk in and see Lexan walls and shit.

Not cool.

I joked - sort of - about it being For The Children™ a bit. Some other comments ensued, and someone finally came in talking about how you might not be a criminal, but the person behind you may be, and how having worked for the local PD opened her eyes, etc.

Naturally, I could not allow someone on Al Gore's Internets to be wrong.

My comment:

Not to knock [the local] PD (for the elitist, tinted-window-patrol-car, SWAT team they're all trying to be) or anything, but the problem goes way past the occasional bad guy that may walk into a school and go postal. The problem is that we're being conditioned - intentionally or not - to believe that we are unable to, and therefore forbidden from, protecting ourselves and our children. Safety is to be solely provided by the government. I appreciate your point, Griselda, but unfortunately it only goes to put even more light on the bigger issue.

I was going to add something witty here, but after re-reading my comment I realize that there's not much else I can say about it.

Other than the fact that the situation is wrong, and completely fucked up.

tweaker

Feeling Better

2011-02-02T10:08:00.003-06:00

It's been busy.

The smoker ran for 17.5 hours Sunday. The +10lb pork shoulder gave us a fight in the last hour getting to temp, but raising the heat out of the smoke box at the end really took hit home. The 4x chicken leg quarters that got their 2.5 hours will do nicely on my salads this week. Our half (the neighbors, who own the smoker, got the other) of the smoked meat loaf was rather nice.

Oh, yes. We smoked a meat loaf.

Monday was not so pleasant. I woke up snifflin and sneezin, and by the time I made it to the office, there were not five consecutive minutes that weren't interrupted by my sneeze(s). Drugs weren't helping. I made it to lunch, and that was it. I went home, drugged up more, and fell asleep. I had sneezed so hard many times that by the time I woke up, my back was killing me. The rest of the day teetered on disaster. I felt like some shit.

Tuesday was better (hooray, Zyrtec!). I made it through the day with hardly a sneeze, and got a ton of stuff done at work. I'm still on Zyrtec, not sneezing, and getting a ton of stuff done.

I feelz better. Thank you.

tweaker

No Child Left Behind

2011-01-29T08:24:00.003-06:00

Hell no, we ain't leaving anyone behind! We'll be damned! Instead, we'll all stay behind. Just make sure No Child Gets Ahead.

Do remember that Virginia regularly receives high marks for education.

h/t Reason.com.

tweaker

Updates On Stuff

2011-01-27T11:12:00.002-06:00

First, some Quote of the Day actions, from Richard Mann writing for Shooting Illustrated:

Some cartridge names are cool, but their names have no influence on how deadly the cartridge is and, in many cases, they don’t even reflect actual dimensions. Same goes for people, too.

RTWT. Very cool.

Next, I just finished installing Pro Tools on one of my work Macs. Those of you who know what Pro Tools is, you may begin your envy now. Those who do not, it's the industry-standard audio recording/mixing software. Go me!

Last, the new (old) boomstick may or may not happen. Cabela's is out, but they're expecting 7,500 more of them by January 30. Cross your fingers!

That is all.

tweaker

Armory +1

2011-01-25T20:22:00.003-06:00

In a couple of days, the Tweaker Armory will be getting acquainted with a new addition to the bunch. Any guesses?

Here's a hint. Flamethrower.

Updates and pics to follow, as soon as I have it.

h/t to Uncle.

tweaker

Tweaking

2011-01-25T09:33:00.002-06:00

My blog handle is fairly self-explanitory. I have spent my entire professional career in audio, in one form or another. During the time I have spent in the field, I have seen digital recording come into its own against the old - yet still fully effective and regularly used, despite what people will try to tell you - days of analog hardware and good ole 24-track tape. I have also seen live audio fully transition from massive, awe-inspiring analog consoles and giant stacks of speakers to powerful and reliable digital consoles and line array speakers. Even amps are going digital these days.

Well, my days of engineering live sound are far behind me. I was always involved in large-scale production. Leave the bar scene to the bar bands. I wanted the big time, and I got it by the shovel-full. I spent the next 8 years working in custom installation, creating installed projects for home and business, as well as the sort of large-scale venue work I used to bring road gear into. I was just making it permanent.

Now, I'm out of custom install entirely. I've moved into a position that returns me to engineering audio, only this time it's on the recording side of things. I started out digitally mastering some older live projects that were recorded to tape while maintaining an entry-level IT post (mostly hardware maintenance and web support). I aimed high, trying to get the responsibility of mixing and mastering.

I finally got a hit!

I've been waiting for years for an opportunity like this, to put my skills in audio to better use than installation, and I've got it. And I get to do it on the software that set the standard for digital recording and mixing. By the time FedEx shows up tomorrow, I will officially be a Pro Tools user.

The hours between then and right now will likely be some of the longest I'll have had since Christmas Eve in my childhood. W00t!!!

Tweaker's Carry Method of Choice

2011-01-24T09:47:00.002-06:00

I've read in two separate blog posts today (and I'm barely getting started, as it's only about 0945 here) about Outside the WaistBand, or OWB, carry being impractical. The references seem to hint that OWB is pretty much for Open Carry only, be it at home or in public. Bummer for Dragon Leatherworks, too, because both of those posts were reviewing the same Talon holster. Shiny. I like.

Note that, while I have great respect for Uncle and Robb Allen, I am inclined to disagree. While trying to resist the ultimate in fashionable apparel, notice that the duty-sized Beretta Px4 Storm, with its grips large enough to accommodate 17-rd double-stacked 9mm magazines, hides right away under the an untucked button-down short-sleeve shirt. Which is handy, because that's all I wear. Every day. And underneath that snazzy outerwear is a High Noon Holsters Topless.

I don't carry any other gun, and I don't own any other carry holster. I don't carry at work, but I'm carrying that nearly 28-oz (unloaded) pistol any time I'm wearing pants. The bowling shirt keeps all the other items on the Tweaker Utility Belt out of sight, as well. Makes carrying all 35 rounds of Hydra-shoks (17+1 plus 17 in spare mag) effortless. It'd be even easier if I didn't have to conceal the spare tire out in front of me...

BTW, I do so in one of the only states in the country that actually forbids open carry.

The point is that OWB is as viable an option as any other method of carry, provided certain conditions are met. Also like the other methods, OWB isn't for everyone. YMMV.

tweaker

Raise Me To Thy Right Hand, And Count Me Among Thy Saints

2011-01-21T08:10:00.004-06:00

I have experienced no shiver down my spine like this before. Hell, I was among the Obama Gun Rush and bought my AR solely in anticipation of another assault weapons ban. It didn't feel like this at all.

All the rock-star bloggers are already way on this, and they will say what I'm feeling here far better than I can. Usually I let them, but not this time. This time I'm speaking up, too.

I've only been reading dispatches from TJICistan for a few weeks now. I've got a metric fuck-ton of blogs I read frequently, so adding more to the list is something I carefully consider, but when I finally got around to TJIC's blog I was hooked. Dude's a straight-outta-Heinlein anarcho-capitalist, and he pulls no punches.

After the Tuscon shooting, he pulled no punches. 1 Down, 534 To Go! That's all it took for the Pants-Shitting Hysteria to start up, and it was that hysteria that led to the arrival of Arlington, MA police officers on a mission to remove all of TJIC's guns, ammo, and firearms license. They did not arrest him. No charges have been sought or filed. He has committed no crime.

Let that sink in for a minute. A man spoke his mind. Call it tactless, tasteless; call it what you will. But you cannot call it a crime without shredding the First Amendment wholly and entirely. And this man was deprived of his Second Amendment rights and his personal property for exercising his First Amendment rights.

The pro-/anti-gun argument goes on the back burner right now, y'all. This isn't left-wing or right-wing. This isn't Republican or Democrat, nor is it liberal or conservative. This is an oppressive tyranny slamming down on a free man solely for being free. It is time to put our differences aside; if they can take his guns, they can take your alcohol, and her car, and his house, and that guy's clothes and money, and so on and so on. They can take whatever they want, because they believe they have the power to do so. Freedom is an all or none affair. As long as one of us is chained, none of us are free.

It is time to stand together, united under opposition to oppresion. I oppose oppression. I am free. I am mad as hell.

I am TJIC.

tweaker

The Sauce That's Good For The Goose...

2011-01-20T09:44:00.002-06:00

...is most assuredly good for the gander.

It seems that the legal speculation regarding the defense of the Tuscon shooter is that he's going for the insanity defense. Needless to say, the media is all over that shit.

Federal prosecutors are going to bust their asses day and night to prove that Loughner was not insane - pursuant, of course, to the definition required to use insanity as a defense - so they can hand him his ass in court.

When I read this, the first thought that crossed my mind was that federal prosecutors trying to prove Loughner wasn't insane should fly in the face of federal lawmakers trying to prove that he was. You know, so they can point out how fuctup the NICS is, etc., etc.

It should, but it probably won't.

tweaker

Chill Level - Between Somewhat and Deeply

2011-01-18T08:05:00.002-06:00

During the normal morning conversations at the office today, it is heard that Donald Trump is considering a presidential run in 2012 on the Republican ticket. A quick trip to the internets confirms this.

I can has mixed feelings?

On one hand, I'm thinking that, much like Rudy Giuliani's failed 2008 attempt, he's going to get his ass absolutely handed to him on that "I'mma save this country" RINO bullshit. On the other hand, and despite potentially having Sarah Palin* on the ticket, the GOP's most promising potential for the Oval Office in 2012 is, in their minds, shoe-in between Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee. Trump ain't exactly facing stiff competition.

*sigh*

After the last two years, the Republican party is bound and determined to get Barack Obama reelected.

tweaker

*I'm not trying to squirt Sarah Palin Fanboi Juice all over your monitor here. I'm just saying that the GOP is damned far from putting its best foot forward.

The Plunge. I is taking it.

2011-01-17T10:16:00.002-06:00

In light of recent potential need pointed out at the office this morning, I am currently installing the trial version of Adobe Photoshop. Provided I don't totally suck big rocks up off the ground, my employer will be purchasing the full version in the next month.

You'll know how it's going by the quality of people's heads on animal bodies, etc., that I will no doubt be posting here for the next month or so.

tweaker

Road Trips and Loved Ones

2011-01-16T09:19:00.002-06:00

I have done some pretty long drives in my time. I haven't done a marathon New-York-to-Los-Angeles or anything, but I have done some 12-hour treks stopping only for meals/gas. Last time I did San Antonio to Memphis, the last three hours were spent in a mother of a thunderstorm. For that, I now know why they call it "white knuckles." I was shaking by the time I made it to my folks' house.

By far, the longest drive I think I've had yet was driving home from the vet's office last Friday night.

*********

Rewind to Friday morning. I was eating my breakfast tacos while catching the morning news when I heard that all-too-familiar sound of cat-fitna-hurl. I look over by the office door to see Bootsie arching her back, and right about the time I was ready to roll my eyes in preparation of hairball cleanup on aisle five, she proceeded to throw up every meal she's eaten since 2006.

Knowing something was wrong, I gave her some room while I reluctantly gloved up to clean up half-digested kitty food. She went on about her business seemingly normally so I figured it was nothing that couldn't wait until I got home from work. (I'm not the type to go rushing to the vet every time an animal pukes. It's unnecessary, and I ain't got that kind of money.)

The day went by, and I left the office on my way to a much needed weekend. As I've mentioned before, I live about five minutes from the office, and it was during that five minutes I got a phone call. Bootsie had thrown up all over the house, and Corey (the dog) had shit in the office. Great. I got to go home and clean up animal messes. Wonderful.

Not wonderful. I got home and saw where Bootsie had thrown up. It was in problably six or seven places throughout the living room, and it was not the color of her cat food, which is kinda green. This was dark red. She was throwing up blood.

We called the vet's office, knowing they keep short Saturday hours and they told us that the vet was still in if we could make it into town by 5:30. We hauled ass as much as we could, because we were driving in rush hour traffic (thankfully we were going the other way) and it was raining. Talk about long trips; that cat hates to be in the car, so she cries for the entire trip. Twenty minutes of that will make you positively homicidal.

We got to the vet's office where the questions started. Before we found out why she was throwing up (and had a fever), we found out something that we were not prepared for. Bootsie had developed a pretty significant heart murmer in a fairly short amount of time. This was bad, but was not the problem. The problem, it turned out, was that she had eaten one of my black ponytail holders and it was stuck in her small intestine, creating a blockage. This was why her food was coming out the front instead of the back. This was likely going to require surgery to remove - at significant cost, mind you - the next day, or a transfer to an emergency facility for surgery that night (at a price that could pay for a pair of riding horses).

So that's a problem. The bigger problem is that she has a heart murmer, which means she becomes a huge anesthesia risk (meaning it increases her chances of not being able to recover from anesthesia; i.e., die on the operating table). Even if she survives the surgery, we're looking at a critter cardiologist to diagnose the murmer, and if she has (insert unpronounceable ten-dollar medical term here) her life expectancy is reduced to around two years. On top of everything else, Saturday was The Little Girl's birthday, so that got to play into the decision.

There was no way we could afford the ER trip even if we wanted to. So the decision was going to have to be made Saturday. We were told that, given the circumstances, euthanasia was a fair option to consider at this point. The Wifey melted down.

That drive home was, without a doubt, the most miserable trip I can remember taking.

********

We drove home and cried. Bootsie is The Wifey's cat, and her heart was completely shattered. She is also our first pet, and she's been here for since 2005. There was no right answer, just a long list of wrong ones. One thing we knew for sure. There was no way we could put her down on The Little Girl's birthday. After some deep soul-searching, we decided that the best way to go was to give Bootsie the chance to fight it out. We decided to do the surgery in the morning. I got deeply acquainted with a bottle of hand-crafted vodka.

The next morning, we were at the vet's office before she was. We patiently waited while listening to her two grey parrots make dog and cat sounds before the tech showed up and let us into a room to visit with Bootsie. The vet showed up and came to check on her. They did another xray to see if maybe she was going to pass the ponytail holder, and we prayed hard while that xray was being done. No dice; we were going to have to decide right then. We told her we'd do the surgery. We were each given a chance to say what we needed to before the vet took her back to prep for surgery.

I couldn't eat, but The Wifey and The Little Girl were hungry. We went and got breakfast and went to walk around Wal-Mart because it was the closest thing that we could waste time in. We looked at everything. I spent more time than I care to admit in the women's department just because I needed to pass as much time as I could. We were through clothing, past shoes, and walking out of electronics before I realized the insanity of the automotive department and linens were all that was left. Right as we left toys, the phone rang. We froze for a second, and I lifted my phone up and answered it. I needed to hear a cheerful voice on the other side. I could not handle a "we regret to inform you" phone call right now.

Bootsie's surgery was done. It was much simpler than expected. Her EKG was beautiful during the entire procedure. Bootsie was coming out of anesthesia, licking her lips, and trying to pick her head up to look around. She doesn't even really have a long recovery ahead of her. They'll keep an eye on her and make sure she's functioning (read: shitting) correctly, and we'll bring her home Monday or Tuesday.

The murmer was just going to have to wait.

*********

I could not be any happier about this (as long as you don't count the several bloody vomit stains I still have to clean up. Yesterday was rainy, so The Little Girl's trail ride we'd set up with her cousin got postponed, so we went to a Japanese steakhouse for her birthday lunch (she was mesmerized) and went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader at the local super-mega-ultra-plex.

It was Hell on Wheels getting there, but it turned out to be a good day after all.

I can't wait to get the vet bill...

tweaker

Guess We Won't Be Needing Those Anymore

2011-01-14T16:07:00.003-06:00

Good thing, too, because the damned fire extinguisher takes up so much room under my sink. Oh, shit, that's just for Congress? Figures.

ViolentIndifference (who is new to my World Famous Blogrolloreeno) brings the snark.

tweaker

Harsh Language, pt. 2

2011-01-13T08:45:00.003-06:00

Today's post was supposed to be about the update to the old blogrollarino over there. I haven't updated in a month of Sundays, so now I have. If I missed anyone, y'all let me know.

Today's post will only mention the update, because today's post is going to discuss something else entirely. Seems there was a ~~political convention~~ ~~little party~~ memorial for the victims of the recent shootings in Tucson, AZ.

A memorial. Complete with a slew of rank-and-file Democrat speakers addressing a stadium full of cheering ~~Democrats~~ ~~fans~~ attendees, most of which were wearing their souvenir t-shirts.

Souvenir. Fucking. T-shirts.

I have read in several places about the blogosphere as well as Facebook how people are setting aside their differences with President Obama to commend him for his very reverent, non-partisan, nearly non-political speech (seems he jumped on the Don't Be Blaming wagon before it left town). I have my words to say about that speech as well.

Fucdat.

Mr. President, any reverence and non-partisanship that speech had whatsoever was overshadowed in its entirety by the venue you willingly gave it in. You delivered a speech to a capacity crowd in a basketball arena - whose capacity was doubled by the overflow watching on the scoreboard at the nearby football stadium - of cheering fans wearing souvenir fucking t-shirts. Memorial, indeed. That was low, even for you.

tweaker

Harsh Language

2011-01-12T07:55:00.002-06:00

It's going to sound harsh. I know. Given the events, any opposition is going to come across harsh at best and condoning at worst.

Frankly, I could give a fuck.

Congress? Yeah, you on Capitol Hill in D.C. Listen up:

Get your asses back to work. Real work. This shit is expensive and unnecessary. This country doesn't need a resolution passed so that we know you don't dig on assholes going around killing folks. Knock this shit off before I start asking where the resolutions are for the other bad things that have ever happened.

Morons.

tweaker

On Tragedy

2011-01-11T08:03:00.002-06:00

I was going to post something here about my feelings on the tragedy that occured a couple days ago in Tucson, AZ. Not to take away from the absolute tragedy itself, but I just knew that it wasn't going to take long before the political bullshit started flying - from both sides of the aisle - over the shooter, the circumstances, the tool used, etc.

As I learned from Robb Allen, it took a helluva lot less time than I was even aware scientifically existed.

tweaker

Wisdom. He Haz It.

2011-01-10T11:19:00.002-06:00

JayG absolutely knocks one into the next zip code in one of today's posts. The real money comes in the last full paragraph, and it should be required reading in schools:

There's a line in "Stranger in a Strange Land" that sums it up: "There is no safety this side of the grave." - the only way to truly be safe is to stop living entirely. Life is risk. Freedom is risk. Everything is a risk - life is, as the joke goes, a sexually transmitted, terminal condition. We tacitly approve of the risks of living in a (marginally) free society because the alternative isn't any better - folks with armed soldiers patrolling their streets are hardly any safer than we are; in most cases they're a lot less safe. Restricting the rights of honest, law-abiding Americans - whether it be their right to own or carry a firearm or to speak their minds about the local representative - isn't going to stop the next deranged lunatic.

That's the good stuff right there, y'all.

tweaker

This I Know

2011-01-09T18:24:00.003-06:00

Here's a small (and hopefully updateable, 'cause who don't like blogfodder?) list of things I know. We'll call this the Kitchen Edition:

- Always keep a lime sliced up in a baggie. You never know when you may get a hankering for a Vodka Tonic or a cerveza.
- Vodka Tonics are good. How do you know if you like Vodka Tonics? Are you a male or female? You like Vodka Tonics.
- The best way to purchase chicken is whole. It's work, but homemade chicken stock (chicken trash + boiling water = chicken stock) is worth it's wait in copper.
- Jambalaya. Why? Because fuckin Jambalaya, that's why.
- There is nothing like being married to someone who loves to cook as much as you do, except being married to someone who loves cooking with you even more.
- As we age, things we keep on hand (i.e., staples) change. They also get more expensive. Example: age 20 - a pallet of Ramen Noodles. Age 30 - fresh Parmesean.
- "Having too much of an ingredient" is a cop-out. Food Network has a website. Use that shit.
- I want a smoker at least big enough for a pork shoulder.
- Beef brisket can be cooked in an oven - if you know the super-secret recipe - in the absence of a smoker.
- There's no such thing as "Memphis-style Ribs." There's either ribs like you get in/around Memphis, TN, or there's other ribs.
- Same applies for barbecue. Sorry, Kansas City and The Carolinas. Y'all just ain't got it.
- It's dangerous for me to state that in Texas.
- Cajun food is scary because of Cajun people. It's tasty for the same reason.
- People that don't love to eat should be avoided at all costs.

I bet I can add more to this list. Maybe this is just the first of many. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. See y'all Monday morning!

tweaker

Plinking on Facebook

2011-01-07T16:16:00.003-06:00

Sayeth a friend of FB: Looking to put my lil warrior in martial arts. Any suggestions? (5 years old).

Sayeth I, in response: .22LR:)

tweaker

You're On The Right Track, But...

2011-01-06T07:51:00.002-06:00

Alternate Title: "Your Fail; Let Me Show You It."

So, now that the confetti has finally settled in the US House of Representatives, some serious measures appear to be taken. Let's look at the CNN story that is trying to be the kickoff to the Shiny New Congress. CNN in italics, me not:

Washington (CNN) -- Republicans will have the Constitution read on the House floor Thursday morning in a nod to the conservative Tea Party freshmen that helped put them back in the majority.

A nod to the Tea Party freshmen? Howzabout a nod to the American People who (and I know this is going to sound crazy to you, CNN) actually give a damn about the Constitutionality of the laws Congress thinks its free to pass, willy-nilly? Oh, wait. That would make it sound like the Tea Party represents more than just a right-wing hack group of crazies. Sorry. Please continue.

The reading will start at 10:30 a.m., with members taking turns until they complete the document -- a process that could take up to a couple of hours.

Aw, crap. Up to a couple of hours? I wonder what rules we'll have to shit all over to make that time back up. Suck it up, buttercup. If I were calling the shots, each and every congresscritter would have to read the whole damned thing, and the gavel wouldn't go down - not once - until it were done. Remaining critters who voted for Obamacare would also be required to run laps during readings.

"This historic and symbolic reading is long overdue and shows that the new majority in the House truly is dedicated to our Constitution and the principles for which it stands," said Rep. Bob Goodlatte of Virginia.

Sounds good there, Bobby. Lets make sure that sentiment lasts a little longer than five minutes, k? IIRC, the repeal pens didn't quite make it to the Clinton-Gun-Ban afterparty.

"As the written expression of the consent the American people gave to their government -- a consent with restrictions and boundaries -- the public reading of the Constitution will set the tone for the 112th Congress."

Little early to be dropping the ball, ain't it? That wording could have been at least a bit more terse? Observe: "As the sole consent by the American people when they created their government - a consent made nearly entirely boundaries and followed up by strict restrictions - the reading of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights will serve as a reminder for each and every Congress from this day forth.

In new House rules passed Wednesday, all bills and joint resolutions submitted for approval will be required to have an accompanying statement explaining their Constitutional authority. Republicans and the members of the Tea Party have argued that Democrats regularly overreached the Constitutional powers granted to the House of Representatives and believe this rule will refocus legislative priorities.

Great rule Sparky. I wonder if, like most other congressional rules, there are eleventy-zillion ways to bypass them in case my favorite party is in control of emergency. Also? Republicans please go into your private quarters to go fuck yourselves for that part about Dems overreaching Constitutional power. I'd like to thank you for my Mandatory Two-Flush Toilet by cramming it entirely in your ass, but having been recently bumped into the next tax bracket leaves me a few bucks short of buying another (just as useless) crapper.

Bills also will be required to be posted online for 72 hours before they can come to a final vote, banning the practice of rewriting legislation shortly before it is to be voted on, so that all Americans have time to go online, read a bill and then lobby their member of Congress.

Thanks. I get three whole days to double-check the next 2000-page pile of shit before you vote on it. Interestingly enough, that's supposed to make it look like the three days grace is supposed to not be "shortly before it is to be voted on." Try again, moron. How 'bout reading the whole damned thing on the House floor? How 'bout making sure that each and every member of said House is there when it happens? On that note, how 'bout making damn sure that every member of Congress is present for each and every reading, debate, and vote that happens?

Another major change in the rules affects the budget, specifically giving the chairman of the House Budget Committee greater authority to set spending limits.

Great. Now one person has more power to set the spending limits. That doesn't just mean lowering the limits, though, now does it?

Without a doubt, CNN still thinks we're all still morons. Time will tell how long it takes Shiny New Congress to re-enroll in that school of thought. I'll be over here holding my breath.

tweaker

Disbelief

2011-01-05T08:08:00.002-06:00

I didn't know my blood pressure could shoot up quite so quickly.

Jay nailed it on this one.

Read it. The gist of it is this: dude has his home broken into, safes torn open, and 40 guns stolen. Cops in Massachusetts immediately take away his permit to carry a firearm.

It really is like charging a rape victim with indecent exposure.

That is fuctup on a level I had honestly never even considered. I hope Gura goes in there and rips that fucking nanny state a new asshole.

tweaker

Boomstick Upgrades

2011-01-04T12:34:00.002-06:00

I'm a big fan of modularity. I like it when, through the concept of modularity, one thing can become many things just by changing a part or parts.

Take the Mossberg 500 12ga. The Mossberg barrel can be easily removed without any tools whatsoever. Through this design, the 28" barrel can be removed and an 18.5" barrel installed. The clays and winged critter gun could now be an anti-goblin gun. Thanks to my Christmas present from my folks, this is now the case with my Mossberg 500 12ga.

I like my multi-purpose modular scatterboomstick. There's actually a good chance that, one day, I will have a nice ribbed 24" barrel to mount (and permanently zero) a scope on to add turkey gun to the available configurations.

It's no wonder folks like the AR platform. Hey, wait. I have an AR...

tweaker

Flies, Honey, Some Assembly Required

2011-01-03T09:53:00.003-06:00

Once upon a time, a guy said some serious wrongness to the camera about the event that most agree led to the Texas Concealed Handgun License.

Many bad things were said.

Now, I hope that everyone sees as good a reason to apologize as I do.

With all due respect, Dr. Holda, I apologize. Good on ya, sir. Education is key.

(a very humble) tweaker

A/V Protip of the Day

2011-01-03T09:26:00.003-06:00

In order for your iPod Docking Station Alarm Clock Radio to function properly - and this includes waking you up - there must be an iPod/iPhone docked on it.

...

Lousy Monday. Got up late only to have my back hurting like hell. It's gonna be a long day.

tweaker

Radio Star

2010-12-31T09:28:00.002-06:00

I try to listen to B B & Guns every chance I get. When I don't listen, it's cool; I download the podcast. I still have several I haven't listened to yet, but I still love the show. Breda's been holding down the fort just fine during Bonnie's hiatus, bringing in guest hosts to keep the show fun. Lately, she's had one of my favorite bloggers and good friend JayG sitting second chair. It's been cool.

Last night the show's topic was "Out and Proud." The idea there is derived from a phrase frequently used in reference to a homosexual's decision to no longer hide their sexuality or, "coming out of the closet." Gun owners - particularly those who legally carry concealed weapons - are generally trying to keep that a secret in much the same fashion, and, quite honestly, for very similar reasons. Society as a whole tends to be very ignorant of all things gunnie and, as a result, tends to be fearful. Gunnies get treated differently once we come out of the gun safe. Jay referred to it as the "deathbeast." Gunnies become the deathbeast when everyone finds out, and it's tough - sometimes impossible - to change people's minds.

It's actually worse in Texas, believe it or not, because you don't have the option to carry openly. You cannot carry openly in Texas, so when you carry concealed you are required by law to maintain absolute secrecy. Sure, you can tell people (if you're stupid) that you have a gun, but that would make about as much sense as walking into a police station and telling the cops that you have an ounce of weed in your shorts. Either way, you're gonna end up under a pile of cops before the law itself is considered.

I, being a glutton for punishment, have some friends who are gay. We go over there and hang out pretty often. There's usually a bunch of people over there, and the majority of them are gay. Many of them very liberal. I go over there with my gun on, and occasionally sit in silent fear that my pistol gets spotted (a fear I just don't have in public, strangely enough) because I get too relaxed, or someone flat outs me.

So I can sure as hell see the similarities between being a gun owner and being gay. It ain't easy either way. You can keep it a secret and only share who and what you really are in small circles of close friends, or you can be out and proud where you'll have to find some way to cope with the masses whose default condition is generally fear.

Makes me wish there were a bunch more folks like Breda and Jay around where I live.

tweaker

Perhaps Just Death

2010-12-29T18:09:00.002-06:00

You know, as opposed to Death and Taxes.

Having received my first full paycheck from my shiny new employer has revealed that I am officially in the next tax bracket. Meaning my tax rate went up. Basically, it's like being penalized for making more money.

Needless to say, I'm madder than a fucking badger. I worked my fingers to the fucking bone for too many years to finally get to the point where I'm making enough money to be any kind of comfortable - and believe me, it ain't nowhere near six-figures - and Uncle Sugar decides that he's gonna stick his fingers that much deeper into my pockets.

Nothing like being ass-raped by someone who claims they do better with what they're taking from you than you can.

I can only imagine what the +$250K/yr. folks feel like.

As a result, I will be adding to my list of New Year's Resolutions the following: I will, in the coming year, say Fuck The Federal Government more than I already do by approximately double the percentage increase in my taxes.

Bastards, the lot of 'em.

tweaker

Lousy Sex

2010-12-28T12:52:00.004-06:00

If, during That Special Moment, your partner decides to play a round of How Many of the Four Rules Can I Break All At Once, your odds aren't looking too hot. Find some other way to mix things up in the sack, k?

Stupid should hurt, but not other people. My sympathies to the family of Rebecca Sedille.

tweaker